AULD LAGG'S DAMNATION
And Sir Robert Grierson wrote in his rent collection book:
O Lord, we’re aye ganging and we’re aye gettin’;
We should aye be comin’ to Thee, but we’re aye forgettin’.
~~~
Some say as Auld Lagg lay dying, in the Turnpike House on a dark and squally night, out on the Solway Firth, the same waters Maggie Wilson had been drowned, a small boat was heading back to its berth. In the light of the full moon the crew saw a craft heading out to sea.
As it came closer they saw it was no ordinary vessel but a great black coach and horses, galloping into the mouth of the Nith estuary accompanied by coachmen and outriders bearing flaming torches.
As they passed, the captain called out,
'Where are thee bound? Where are thee form?'
The reply received was a dread cackle and,
'To tryst wi' Lag in Dumfries we are bound! From Hell we have come!
~~~
And some said that in his dying delirium he was visited by wights and wraiths,
'Auld Lagg! Cruel Lagg! Heartless Lagg!' whispered Maggie's ghost into the ear of the dying man.
'Leave me be, spectre..' the croaked reply.
'Whither do ye go now?' groaned the ghost, 'To drown maer poor old auld women in
the Solway? To torment and torture those tha' wid nae pray for thy king?'
'Damned ghoul! Out fiend!'
'Damnation, aye, damnation is the word. ye auld snick-drawin dog! This luckless hour will send ye linkin to thy pit!'
~~~
And they told of an old woman, Margaret McLachlan who was tied on a post by the sea. And further up the from her tied in a similair fashion was the younger Margaret Wilson.
They had been caught saying the wrong prayers and had been presented to Sir Robert Grierson the assize of Lag who sentenced them to be drowned. The idea being that seeing the old woman drown first would make the younger one repent.
As the tide rose and her end approached, a dragoon Major pulled Maggie Wilson's head above the water and demanded , 'Will ye say a prayer for the king?'
She answered, 'I wish salvation of all men and the damnation of none.'
A bystander called, 'Dear Margaret, for all of love, say God save the King!'
She answered, 'God save him, if he will, for it is his salvation I desire.'
Her family cried, 'She said it so! Let her be, untie her we beg thee!'
But Auld Lagg stepped forward and swore,
'Damn’d bitch, we do not want such prayers; tender the oaths to her.'
Margaret shut her lips tight and the Major thrust her head into the water.
~~~
The folk of Galloway tell of Auld Lagg leading his dragoon's into the hills around Carsphairn and where they found men reading the Bible they shot or tortured them to death. People would come to their doors and listen as the screams echoed down from the glens, then shake their heads and say,
'Auld Lagg tends his flock.'
And when he came down to Dalry, Lag rounded up the men and forced them to swear allegiance to the King and dismissing them snarled
'Now you are a fold full of clean beasts, you may go home.'
~~~
Along the Nith, fast lights were seen, or so they said, on that dark and storm tossed night. A craft moving so fast it defied all ken. And those that beheld it felt the ice of fear on them and made signs against evil. From Glencaple to Whitesands they closed and locked their doors. It was an ill omened night and the devil's work was being done.
~~~
Some say an old crow perched on the windowsill of the bedroom of Turnpike House where the old man lay dying and it said,
'Auld Lagg! Do thee know me? I will sit on thy coffin 'er thee die and tell all of thy deeds. They will say thy wine did turn to blood 'er it hit the glass. The horses that pull thy funeral coach will die in harness. Grass will ne'er grow over thy grave! Wait now, be quiet Lag, be still. It is not long now. Thy raptur'd hour approaches.'
~~~
And the folk of Galloway called it 'The Killing Time', when King's men hunted the Covenanters through the hills, killing them where they found them in secret prayer.
People avoided the hills after that, for many years, fearful of what would be found up there. They called it the 'Bone Harvest' and told their children to stay down in the glens, because up on the hilltops was where the monster Auld Lagg stalked and the bodies of his victims were still lying up there lost and unburied.
~~~
And they told of the crow cawing
'Do thee know what now comes for thee? Auld Lagg should know Auld Nick when he sees him, he did his work often enough. Well no matter, they will soon be here to take thee. What was it all for? Those people you killed and tortured in the name of a king. A king that was evicted in the Glorious Revolution? If ever killing were for naught, it was in this. You must have thought ye were doing God's own work in those far off days, Auld Lagg, when all along you were doing the work of Auld Hornie!'
~~~
And now the children played a game called 'The Lag'. Where one was a beast with a prominent long snout, pointed ears and bulging eyes. All the better for watching, listening and snuffling for Covenanters in the Galloway Hills. They took turns in being the beast and would hunt each other through the hills and heather, laughing as they went.
Their parents would not stop them, by now many years had passed and they rarely found bones up there.
~~~
And in Dumfries they say, a young boy called Fergus chanced to look out his bedroom window at night and saw the coach and horses bound for the Turnpike House. Fire burned in the horses eyes as they sped through the street, there hooves not making a single note on the cobblestones. The outriders held their torches high, casting red shadows, their cloaks pulled tight around them and their hoods covering their faces. The coachman lashed his whip and yelled,
'Make haste, Auld Lagg waits! Let nothing prevent thy speed!'
~~~
Some say the old man finally stirred as an eerie whistle blew. He did keep a monkey up in the Cat's Cradle tower of the Turnpike House and whenever a visitor came or went it had been trained to blow a whistle. A coach pulled outside and whoever stepped out of it terrified the monkey into blowing louder and louder on the whistle. So loud and panicked was the shrill piping that it sounded like the
creature was blowing fit to burst its lungs.
Sir Robert tried to rise from the bed, to summon servants, but by now he was too weak to move.
~~~
It is told that after the revolution was a time bad for old Jacobites. Auld Lagg was fined and imprisoned for forgery. But soon he was freed and went to live at Rockhall. There he grew older and older until many folk had forgotten what he had done and those that remembered said he feared to die because that would be the day he was called to answer.
And so he buried most his kin, and did not die, but went on and on, but no man can live forever, no matter how much he fears what comes after.
~~~
Some say a heavy foot on the stairs was heard. Impatient horses whined and blew in the yard below, stamping their feet and shaking their harness. Each creaking step grew closer. A wayward wind blew through the room and the windows burst open.
Something broke on the floor. The whistling went on, but the house did not wake. Auld Lagg could not close his eyes.
~~~
And they said the whistle blew and blew, louder and louder until it seemed that all the sound in the world was in that whistle. And that when Auld Lagg died and was driven to hell by Auld Nick in a phantom coach the monkey continued to blow its whistle until the household servants strangled it and it haunts the place to this day.
Some say Sir Robert was born to hell in Satan's own coach and tormented there forever more, for the murders he committed in the name of King and God, justified and zealous, sure of his rightness. Better this than a man lived to a ripe old age and remained unpunished, they said, even on his death bed, for the crimes of half a century ago?
This may or may not be so, but in any room in Turnpike House, in the darkest time of the night, you may hear a thin whistling sound that will grow louder and louder until it seems to fill thy head completely. The ghost of his pet monkey, cursed until judgment day to warn the world what awaits those that lead a life like Auld Lagg's.
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