Sunday 1 March 2020

The Journal of Elvis Leroy McBastard

The Journal of Elvis Leroy McBastard
- circa 1992
(Written up 05/05/2009)


--- INTRO ---

Well, this is me and this is how I got here. I was a street bum, going nowhere and achieving nothing. I started out as a small time solo, a hit here, a job there. Nothing heavy.

One time I was hired to infiltrate a group of PC's, a group for hire, y'know the type. But soon I was part of them - a good crowd too, I learned a lot. Dave, a solo like me, quiet and sombre mad as well. Ace, the medi-tech, a few others. Most are gone now although I still see Ace. Anyhow we'd neen hired to track down a psychic girl kidnapped by some cult. Lots of stuff was going down then, in San Fan. we found a cool hide out in the CZ, and blow away a cultist ritual, lotsa stuff. We had a few false starts we tracked down the girl to a warehouse. What a firefight, man I got shot to fuck, but we made it. It was after that I took them drugs which made me a telepath. Man, fast paced times.

After that, some down time. Shit, then the group wanted to go to Europe, so I followed, not having much else to do, guess it worked out ok.

--- POINT EXTRACTION ---

We got based in a shalley in Austria and got hired by the usual corp assholes to 'extract' some geezer from a base. It seemed eazy, but it all turned to shit. We blew away the guards, but the chopper we put the geezer in go offed. Then we got split up in the snow. I was hitching back to the shalley when I got picked up by some babe, or so I thought, but she drugged me and took me back to her mad professor boyfriend who wanted to carry out vivisection experiments on me.

Well I wasn't having that! I settled their hash and stole their car into the bargain. The mad prof was still after me for killing his girl, but it wasn't me anyway, it was some 8 year old lass with a lethal handgun. What a world.

After I got back to the shalley, it all gets a bit hazy, people faces move so fast. Most of my group go off and raws keep turning up to take their place. This guy, Teleo turns up telling this sorry story involving a military chip holding secrets, so we take him in, but get nailed by the Italian military who infect us with a slow working, but deadly posion. Its all hazy.

Next thing, us lot are guarding a nomad camp, trying to remember what the fuck had happened to us.
More new faces, more death. We're attacked by the big 'C', a huge fight ensues, what a day that was, the biggest firefight I've ever been in.

So we leg it back to Celeste compound but we're being chased by the miltary, the government, big 'C'
and god knows who else.

By this time, theirs me, Greendog, hes sound, a netrunner, ugly bugger though. Nightstalker, he's cool as well, as long as you don't mind mad folk. John the fixer, from this city, but he's been roped into our group. The cybernetic priest, Conner, and another solo called Eddy Metal. Ace is around occasionally as well.

So, we get this chip to a dude called Frank Lesbit, to try and trade it for an antidote yeah?

After a lot of shooting and car chases we get in contact with him.

Christine, thats my car has been a mixed blessing, she's saved my bacon lotsa times, but she can be a real pain sometimes. I've also found the time to meet an Italian babe called Samantha.

Anyroad, this is the upshot. (oh yeah,man we stole somecyber stuff, me and Greendog, my drinking companion, good money too.)

--- WORKING FOR MINIX ---

So, Frankey says we have to work for MINIX, an italian government organisation or else we get no antidote. He's got us over a barrel, we tried to fight it, but they had us ok.. We were kept in some underground base then eventually they gave us a mission to do and lotsa guns and stuff.
Nightstalkers eyes lit up.

I don't like being in some expendible assassin team, but we've no choice, none at all.

Our section chief, some old guy called Gary Watson gave us the breifing (being a telepath is cool, I've got him worried about where I get my info - how do I know his name?)

So we do it, me, Nightstalker, the cybernetic priest and some new guy called Eddy Metal, I don't know him but I guess he's in the same boat as us. We're parachuted into this research compound and start shooting up the guards and shit. Nailing them left, right and centre. Steel core and frag grenades. We get inside and start getting the files we're ment to steal and kidnap some old professor guy. The priest has wired the place and an airstrike is expected soon, so we have to move fast. If my mother could see me now.

Well, I cover the corridor and Eddy and Nightstalker wait for the lift. Of coarse there's some guy in armour with a big gun in the dam thing and of course he opens up. They jump on him, he just about nails Eddy who takes near 30 bullets. Eventually  I go over and shoot the guy in the head until he's quiet.

Strange terminator dudes start getting up from their hospital beds, but by that time, we're scarce.

So up we go to ground level, I scan the area, there's guards everywhere in the foyer of the building so as soon as the doors open we let rip with everything we've got. frag grenades launched from the rifle and steel core. We get a lot in return, but we can take it. This one guy keeps lobbing grenades in the lift and Conner keeps hoofing them down a hole in the floor. Twice he does this and for the hat trick he grabs the grenade in mid hair, runs over to the guy (cyber legs) and shoves it down his fucking throat. Nice one. He runs off at high speed leaving us three to go up to the next floor, prof still being carried and passed about. There's a helicopter in the air when we hit the roof so Nightstalker took it out with a stinger rocket launcher.
We blow the joint, the party getting dull at that time, I put away a couple of trucks for good messure with RPG's and we're outa there. We wandered around outside in the waste for a while until we get picked up by a chopper.

The airstrike goes in and the place is eradicated from the map. All we see is a big red glow on the horizon and the shadows of the planes flitting over.

So Watson gives us a pat on the back for a job well done at the breifing and we get some down time. Me and Conner even get to go outside the base. (Nightstalker isn't bothered, I think he likes it in there) Conner tries to get some gen from an 'Information Retrival' Agency about our dilema. I doubt he'll have much luck. Greendog appears to be using his netrunning abilities to steal a helicopter. Good one.

Yeah, so I just cruise around in Christine and hang round with Sam and try not to think what our next mission will be like.

--- JUNGLE ASSAULT ---

So, despite Connors moralistic misgivings, another mission. Destroy a gurella encampment in the Brazilian Amazon rainforest. Why? Don't know. Who? We're not told. Its me, Conner and Greendog and Knightstalker, both in power armour. Semi-robotic armoured suits, bristling with weapons. GD has a 75mm cannon. We parachute down and spend one night waiting for a supply convoy to pass on this road. A jeep comes along and we waste the occupants and drive along a bit.

We find the convoy, just two trucks. All went well until a guy in the back of one shoots GD in the head with a bazooka. He survives, but his helmet is fucked. We take cover and I waste the trucks with rifle grenades. Big bangs. Its night time, but people arn't long in arriving. We leg it through the jungle, heading for the camp.

Stalker and Greendog pressed on while me and the padre layed tripwires and grenades for the goons following us.
I shot one of them, by luck more than anything else. through the trees. As we got to the camp we heard some of the traps go off. So, in went the P.A's , blasting buildings. Rockets, missiles, shells. Up go cars, trucks, sheds, people. I popped a few goons and cleanse a building. All the main stuff is done by the PAs. Things got dicey when a tank rumbles into the frey, but Conner saw to that by jumping on its turret and bending its cannon out of shape. Bang! Up it went! Not before it injured NS in the leg though. Later NS in the leg lets off a bio toxin in grenade, offing a big group of people. GD puts his minigun to good use, 100 rounds an action, he hoses down his target zones. I kept  myself busy, taking people out methodicaly one by one. At one point GD shoot a fuel tanker a huge mushroom cloud results and alot of fiery petrol rains down.

NS is then badly injured in a multi-grenade blast and me and Conner have to drag him out his PA. GD is in search of an escape vehicle but all he got is a re-run of his unfortunate catching of a rocket in the head! He survived (but only just) and repremands the culprit, (with his minigun)

Man, it just never stops. Me and Conner went off to find the jeep, while the other two blew up the ammo dump, another huge explosion. We found two jeeps and a wounded bloke who Connor took back to the base. So off we trundled, me driving the first jeep. Some one had layed mines on the road, but it didn't take long to get rid of them.

We had to reach the pick up zone by the next day, dawn was just breaking. We got to a bridge over this ravine in the jungle. There was an armoured van and I scanned 8 bodies. We had the drop on them.
NS gave them a couple of stingers and I picked them off one by one. It all got a bit confusing, running around in the jungle. We all got shot at one point, usually in the back. Poor NS, he really got it, he was like a meat counter at Safeway, in real dire straits, badly shot up and his fucking right leg was blown off. By some miracle he made it though. I took out the last git with a stinger fired over the bridge - you can run, but can't hide from a psychic!

So, we drive on to the drop zone, and settle down for some zee's. Or so we thought, we didn't reckon on a little shit sniper, who persistently tried to shoot us in the head. At first we couldn't see him and our missiles and bullets and grenades ripped into the area we thought he was in, the bugger was up a tree of course so it wasn't until NS did this amazing thing. What he did was, sitting down like, was lob an incendary grenade practiacaly into the guys shirt pocket. That was the end of him anyway and in the morning a chopper came and picked up our poor mutilated bodies. We all survived, only just, NS spent 12 days in super-healing hospital. We had some down time after debreifing. Conner and GD learned heavy weapons, I learned first aid (hmm, am I turning soft?) Spent some time with my girls too, Samantha and Christine.

--- DRAGON AND THE SISTERS AFFAIR ---

Towards the end of downtime me, Conner, GD and Eddy went out, we got into a bar fight, a few folk got killed, so we legged it. Me and Eddy ran straight into a gang of Inquisitors, I killed three of them - but I didn't have a helmet on so they KO'd me. Eddy lost an eye. So, I was in hospital for a bit, but it wasn't long before we got our next mission. Me, GD, NS and Conner, we had to deliver this box to a place in the Inferno (Celeste Compound CZ). Me in Christine, Conner on his bike, NS + GD in a van.

As we're cruising into the CZ we see a drive by shooting, me and Conner take care of the casualties and Chrstine zooms off to claim the car that did it. NS took 3 victims back in the van. So, we're standing there, waiting for someone to answer the door to this place we're ment to be delivering to and along comes this dragon guy who bombs us, gases us and nicks the box. We hunt for him and question bystanders but to no avail.

This guy called Edvard (some corp dude) came along and hassled us. After reporting back to MINIX we decide to get in contact with one of the areas gangs - 'The Sisters'. As we approach their haunt/bar there's a fight between 1/2 doz of them and 1/2 a doz of their rivals 'The Klash' - we make short work of them, I shoot three of them in the head before anyone has time to think.

GD and Conner bag one each and I pope the last guy trying to escape. The Sisters are a bit wary of us, but decide to tell us where the HQ is, so we can enquire after the mysterious 'dragon'.

Conner goes to speak to Oreo, the head honcho woman, the rest of us go to a bar. Two new guys turn up, sent from MINIX - 'Stone' and a huge hulking chinese bloke, the biggest guy I've ever seen, he appears to be quiet mad, probably cyperpsycotic. The other oen is a small Jap called Harry, he seem to be a martial arts expert.

Anyway, the trail takes us to Tokyo Roses brothel in the same area, we talk to her and she puts us onto a fence called 'Le Fez' who deals with the Dragon - whose a woman! She's on a crusade to get rid of drugs from the Inferno. Meanwhile NS + GD have been mucking about. NS accidently hypnotised himself and GD convinced him he was a pig, so he was grunting about outside attracting a crowd. Eventually we got the silly sod and tried to convince him he was human. What a fruit cake.

So, me GD, and NS, after a while of standing outside when we're attacked by 6 rastas on motorbikes. I take out 4 wuth head shots, Christine takes out another. NS got badly shot in the chest (as usual) and had to be carted off to MINIX in an ambulance AV.

Me and GD go to Le Fez and inquire after the Dragon, he puts us on to 'the Doctor' a supposed friend of the Dragons. We then flog the bodies of the rastas to a ripperdoc's $7000 for both of us. This weird solo called Scorp is tagging around with us, saying he wants to join our group coz he's bored. I read his mind - he's probably after the price on our heads.

So after a very eventful day, me and GD go back to get some kip, we arranged to mee Scorp in the morning at Apocolypse. We meet him and he now has to do the initiation we've set him. Join us in a hunt to kill some Inquisitors. We cruised around for a while until we found some - well they looked like Inquistors anyway. They wern't, they were crop black ops in purple cloaks the buggers.

Bang-bang-bang, we leg it. I'm injured and have to lie low for a while - In the mean time the others track down the Dragon, whos a top class solo on a crusade against drugs. We decide to join her and the Sisters on a raid on the Jamacian Drugs Cartel headquarters. Also, Maximillian calls off the dogs when we threaten to expose his slum kid roots! So, with all that we - me, Greendog, Skorp and his flat mate Kurt go to werehouse 42 to play lasertag, we're waiting for the Sisters to find where the Jamacians are.

Who should turn up in the middle of the game but Ace! Good to see that babe again, especially since she's got the cure to the virus we've got as well.

Me, Greendog + Skorp go off to see the Sisters, Dragon and a new girl - Kayko, a real babe. They've found the Jamaicans hide out so we decide to hit it today. Its a bit of a cock-up. Scorp went up on the roof to put biotoxin in the air intakes, but they wern't on so that scuppered that idea.

Christine blew the door and we all piled in. Its some kind of warehouse. Theres lots of guys with guns. I drop 4 of them before the Sisters even turn up. Kayko runs at one and deals with him using
Ti Kwon Do. Greendog shots someones arm off then kicks anothers head off. There's alot of incoming but mostly it bounces off our armour. It seems ok so far.

One by one the Jamacians are nailed. We search the building and find a safe. While we try to open it the bosses escape in an armoured car - and the bloody safe is empty! Some Klash turn up in a car - we kill them.

So shambles in all. We go back to MINIX, then after doing this and that go to 'Deaths Door' to get wrecked. Me, Scorp, GD and the new lass Kayko. Sam and Kingfisher turn up and we all get drunk.

--- ANOTHER MISSION - GOYA HEIST ---

The next day Gary calls us in and we get a new mission. Its G.O.Y.A again. We have to find and help "Team 2" who are in trouble with it apparently.

In the meantime, I get fitted out for a new gun and then GD takes me for a flight in his new helicopter. He wont let me have a shot yet.

After a bit of detective work we track down Team 1 to Malaga. Unfortunetly Spain has just errupted into civil war so we have some trouble at the border post. Me and Scorp get rocketed when we get out of Christine, I'm fried and totaly fucked, taken straight to hospital, while my spirit astral projects! GD in heli, take me back to France. Scorp (+ the vicar turns up!) and Conner bike south (Scorp has lost an arm) Scorp riding in a very peculiar trailer.

Scorp and Conner carry on getting into trouble in Spain, a couple of gun fights, which go badly. Meanwhile, Ace picks me up from Hospital, which I'm out of thanks to my regeneration. After 4 days travel we reach Malaga and meet up with Scorp + Conner (GD is flying around doing Netrunner type things) in a hotel.

Scorp has done something horrendous with his hair. Theres lots of media here, covering the war and the airport seige. We make a few enquiries. I pull a black camera woman called Maria - I'm in love! Conners lucky too, the dog! In the morning we go to the Raven Mycrocyb building to try and find a lead on GOYA.

Just as we're considering our options, a little girl runs out an alleyway. Conner runs after her and I have a look down the alley. Two Millitech toughs start taking potshots at me so I drill their heads full of holes. One guy - I hit with a whole clip!

Some weirdo called Angus Man was involved with all this but doesnt let on much. Scorp has a fist fight with him, then seems to accept him. A. Man joins us in searching the Raven buidling. The girl Katleena helps get us up the lift shaft to the upper floors, by reaching for a key hole.

Me and Skoprt do the rest of the sweep, Conner sods off with the girl. After a lot of buggering about we come to the conclusion the building has been used for GOYA but its been deserted for a while. There's lots of labs, airlock, tables with straps on etc.

After that,we rest up for a couple of days. Scorp gets a new arm, and lo-and-behold Nightstalker turns up! So, its us psykos from here on, we've done a bit of research and found a Raven building out in the country. We got into a firefight with some gang or other on the way there. We scope this place out - its definetly occupied. So we go into the small town to look for supplies and ammo.

By chance 2 trucks roll by and everyone decides to hijack them. Greendog sits on Scorps shoulders as he 'speeding bullets' after them. I follow in the car. We slaughter 3 of the crew but one gets away with one of the trucks. A helicopter from the same corp as the trucks comes to investigate but I take out the pilot with a pretty lucky head shot - CRASH!

It takes awhile to get in the truck but eventually GD gets through the roof. He's in hog heavan now coz the truck is communications, and there's practiacly an AI on board.

However we didn't have much good luck after that. That night Greendog and Skorp went on a recon to the camp in the helicopter. They get spotted and shot doen with a SAM - Blat!

Both lept out and plummeted to the ground, luckily surviving. I drove the truck, Ace on her bike, NS in a car. Coarse, as soon as the truck gets out into the open, up comes an airstrike, 3 jets streek in, I leap out the truck as it errupts into flame, a victim to missiles.

The car gets it too, and Ace gave me a lift on her bike. After lots of shooting we get GD and Scorp out. I do a fair bit of sniping - headshots. Scorp got shot in the head so Ace got him to her van to try and repair his brains.

Meanwhile, me, NS and GD limp back to the village - all wounded. I get a bit edgy and think I've seen a threat - its just a couple shagging in a field! The GD sees a car going into town and decides to attack it - the foo! He leaps at it with his 2 mono knives but only succeeds in bouncing off it.

A cyber-dog leaps out and attacks him, but I hit it then shoot it dead (eventually - it bites my head first, lucky for helmets). NS shoots the big guy in the car in the head a few times but that doesn't phase him. NS reaches the car, only to have the guy torch him with a flame thrower.

I shot the flamethrower sending its dangerous fluid everywhere. He returns fire with a pistol, but his numbers up - I nail him 3 times in the right eye - no chance, he's gone.

The everything goes up, the man, the flamethrower, the car. Me and NS goet knocked down by the explosion, but poor GD gets a terrible wound. The car bonnet lands on his butt and cuts into him like a blade. The poor guy lost his nads and alot of lower intestine. Ace has to use a blow torch on it to get him into the van.

Jeez, so he's out of the action for a few weeks. Another fiasco.

Gary calls and we arrange for two more operatives to join us and bring our anti-virus drugs (which we don't need, but we're keeping up the pretence). We'll meet them on the coast.

The next night I tru astral projection. I load up on drugs, meditate and - it works! I roam around outside the van!

So next evening Ace drives me and NS to the rondezvous. We hack our way through a minefield to a cliff to see 3 motorboats. The first holds the new operatives - both female - the other 2 are chasing them. NS starts taking shots at the enemy with his 20mm Barreta. There's a 3 man rocket team on the cliff further up so I have to take them out. Its a bit hairy when they start blowing the cliff out from under our feet, but for once we do fine and its not long before we see the women coming up their grapple line.

So we get back to the village and take a few days rest. The two girls are Robin - a bodyguard Solo and Salata, a liason , spokesperson. I get to 'know' Robin - she's nice.

I spend one evening practasing my Astral Projection. I can leave my body and travel about 10m.

--- THE KLAUS CAPER ---

There's been this guy called Klaus trailing us in a black sports car, obviously watching us. So we decide to lay a trap for him in the cafe he's been frequenting. But the plan backfires and we're all drugged and carted off to the north of Spain, a villa.

Klaus is the No 4 top solo in Europe, a real big player. Team one is here too, Tonic, Tacadon, Babe, Melody and Klaus wants us to raid a MINIX base and grab back the professor we origionally snatched from GOYA for MINIX. Ha! not as if we have much choice, but its funny that we'll be seeing that poor professor again.

We spend about 5 days at this villa getting to know the others. Then the day arrive and we get tooled up and get going. There'll be us - including Robin and Salata, team 1, Klaus and a band of nomad hirelings. We go in. Robin and Salata get the basement garage doors open and GD starts disabeling the security systems. Me and NS go to take out the guards on the 1st floor, Klaus and team one go to the tenth. So, me and NS enter this busy office and shoot two guards. We hear the nomads slaughtering innocent civilains below us. Us two lads take out a room full of
guards then go up the stairs to level 3 in the hope of finding the prof. The place is diserted, we begin to smell a set up.

Kane, the leader of the nomads arrives and then - we're under attack. But from where? The attacker, I can't get a fox on it with my mental powers - so is it human? Or just very cyber. Its virtualy invisible which sujests a cameoleon suit, its weaponary is nasty too. NS and Kane are wounded and leg it back to the basement leaving me to duke it out.

NS finds Tonic dead in our get away vam and a bomb in the back - 5 minutes and counting. Also - a call goes up - Max Tac on the roof! I try to TSM team 1, but no reply - are they dead, where is Klaus? I run for it too, I've expended a lot of ammo, but for all I know I never even hit the unseen enemy.

We ride out on the backs of the nomad bikes. Our options are limited, Klaus has shafted us (has he?) So, we decide to try to get to France, Kane and his 40 odd road gang decide to join us, reconing one country is as good as another.

--- HANGING WITH THE NOMADS ---

So, lots of down time, but we never make it to France. We camped near a village where the nomads all got jobs as grape pickers. I used my psi powers to take some of their wages at poker. During this time we all get re-supplied and since Ace was around, bought lots of lovely new cyberware. Nanosurgeons and enhanced antibodies all round!

Conner Walker came back, he'd found a good home for Kareena and decided to look us up again.

Over the next month or so the nomads started disappearing.Every so often one or two won't report back and everyone starts getting paranoid. A speckled blue sports car has been seen around too. So Conner when he's out on his bike see's the car and tails it to a mansion in the country.

He calls out us lads, including Ace and we scope it out. For lack of a better plan we jump over the wall and sneek up to the house. Ace trys to climb the side of the house without much success then goes home.

Conner and NS climb up into a bed room window. I try the less subtle approach - a grenade through the parcel box. We hunt the house high and low, I go into the cellar and find the bodies of the nomads in a meat locker.

NS and Conner find signs of habitation. I find the car in the garage and throw a grenade under it - no effect. The car talks and realization dawns - 'Is that you Crsitine?' I ask.

Meanwhile, NS and Conner are suddenly under attack. A grenade disc (similair to the one used at the encounter with the invisible thing. Are Klaus and it, one and the same?) comes flying up the stairs at them.

It all gets rather hazy, explosions, gun fire, smoke, confusion and chaos, NS and Conner fight it out, but I set a trap with grenades for Klaus and bang! up he goes! Unfortunetly it brings the garage down on Christine, ruining her. Oh no - poor Cristine, I've found her only to lose her again.

I've hired some nomads to take her to safety in France where maybe she can be fixed. Kain goes on a recruiting campaign for his pack so all sorts of scum are crawling out of the woodwork. Solo's, cyberpsychos, techs, the whole lot.

Kain practacly orders is all to get to the nearby city to do away with a rival gang - bloodycocky nomad, but we've nothing else to do. So with 6 new blokes we charge in , on bikes and in cars. Neadless to say it imeidiately errupts into chaos and a gun fight with the cops ensues.

Lots of crashing around in cars and shooting. A news chopper comes in, but is soon delt with.
We drive on, splitting up slightly in the confusion. Me and Skorp go off while the others take off in cars and jeeps. Carnage insues.

The mad solo in a jeep piles into a whole load of pedestrains and causes a pile up. They're all very blood thirsty. We slowly make progress towards the 'cross hairs' hide out (or whatever the stupid mission objective is.)

However C-SWAT turn up and the shit hits the fan. Some folk scatter, others are arrested. Me and Greendog hide in an abandoned building. GD organised a hired car which Skorp picked up and drove to us.

Meanwhile, some of the others, a netrunner and one of the nutty solo's hide in a womans appartment but get taken out by C-SWAT.

So, me, GD and Skorp decide to get to a bar and to fuck with the lot of them that night. We go to the most dangerous bar in town, a corp accidently starts a fight, but we dont join in. Later we go to a night club and beat up goths.

--- CHASING CHRISTINE ---

We got back to the camp and have a bit of down time. We notice some geezers hanging around and discover a bug on the wreckage of Christine. Me and Skorp accidently destroy a model helicopter trying to trace the electronic bug! I hire the guy who's chopper we killed to make a jammer.

Conner grabs one of the spys and I 'scan' him and find he's been hired by folk unknown to look for Christine (maybe?). Conner straps him up with explosives and we go into town to lie in wait for the guys contact. He arrives in the alley and we start pouring lead into the guy - but to no effect! This chap is hard!

No amount of ordanance can bring him down. Lights start hitting the roof and the alley fills up with smoke. Confusion reigns, no one can penetrate this strange fog, IR, UV, Low-lite etc will not penetrate.

All I can hear is bangs and crashes. Skoprt clashes with something in the car and blows its head off with micro-missiles - but it still attacks!

The smoke desperses and the car takes off. We follow in a truck, a bike, a trike, and a spacewagon. We get tailed by four AVs with spot lights.

Then, we all get a message on our TSM, 'go to 13 St Michael Bllvd'

Hmm, strange, but we all go along to this mansion in the city. I scan the area. Tow guards inside, folk inside. We get ourselves together. Me and Alexandrow Krakov, a net, in the van, Klaus (not THE Klaus!) on his trike, Greendog, Skorp, Lawson (a nasty solo) and Wilson (a wimpy media-corp) in the truck, Conner on his bike. We seem to have picked up a few more hangers on recently.

We are ushered into the mansion and meet 'Mr Smith' the big cheese, who offers to hire us for 10,000 a week each as a black-op team. There's another team here too, who've been here a year. I suspect one of them is psykic.

--- MR SMITH AND THE CRUISE CAPER ---

We have a few weeks downtime for training. We all have plush rooms in the house, the place is brilliant. The techie Klaus may be able to fix Christine in the sophisticated garage they have.

Our first job is to extract two scientists on board a cruiser in the Med. For two days we are trainied as either a cook or a waiter. I'm a cook, so's Skorp! We join the ship when it pulls in for supplys and we spend 3 days in our roles. We develop a cunning plan. There's a trip to a Greek island so we'' drug the bodyguards and kidnap our quarry.

The bodyguards - a big sumo chinky canadian bloke, a green beret type, an arab, and indain woman (weapons spesh) a butch woman, a smarmy italian. Me , Skorp, Lawson, GD and Alex steal a motor boat and go over to the island at night. I have to kill a crew member.

Lawson and me go to steal the two buses that the passangers are travelling in. No problems.

Skorp and crew go to bribe a road side resteraunt to use their premises. We pick up the 160 or so folk and drive off. Lawson goes further on to the town where the passangers are ment to be going, once they're off the police are waiting for him. He cuts ones head with a mono katana and a fire fight ensues.

I drive the bus (and scientist) to our prepared resteraunt - where Skorp waits with the ex-lax.

So, in they go, to be fed and to receive our specially prepared lemonade. When all but 2 bodyguards are in the toilet we strike. Skoprt grabs the male scientist and legs it, closely followed by the cyber arab. I come round the front in the bus and shoot at him. No damage.

Then I fight it out with the green berry. I shoot both his eyes out but he wounds me badly in the head. Roddy (GD?) chops the head off the italian bodyguard. Alex grabs the female scientist. The other standers by hit the deck. Rody swaps mono-katana blows with the butch woman, they both lose arms!

Wilson is in the toliet but comes out in time to shoot the indian woman who hides under the bus, I wounded her too. Meanwhile, after a speeding bullet chase Skorp in the lead, the arab, then Conner. Skorp lobs the prof in a bush and fights the arab who suddendly sprouts spikes and spines which are coated with strange drugs. Skorp defeats him though, but he's lost the prof!

Also - Lawson kills off the rest of the police and starts off back to where we are in his bus.

Meanwhile, I've vacated the bus just in time for it to blow up. There's more shooting and Alex gives me the tied up girl. I rifle grenade the indain woman, she's still alive, but out of the action.

(Also - when the bus goes up, so does the petrol station over the road - big bangs!)

We steal a car, and make for the runway to meet our pick up AV. Mission over.

--- THE DESERT BASE ---

Mr Smith is not happy, it was ment to be a low key op, but we turned it into a warzone. We try to blame it on the media guy who died during the mission. We have some down time, I go see Ace for some new cyberware - I finaly get the Neural Processer I'd been thinking about.

Our next mission is more suited to our tastes for destruction. There's this base in Nevada were three world class Nets are operating from. Mr Smith wants to take it out.

But we're already dogged by disaster. This new solo guy - a real arse, killed the pilot of the gyro we'd hired, the I flick the fuel release switch while cleaning up the blood, so we have to stop at London to refuel.

But we made it to Las Vegas in the end, and get into a hotel then start looking for cool guns. Skorp makes a good contact so we're lucky for once.

We arranged to get a huge truck, Net stuff suit that out. I turn up in over alls to collect it, then we all load up and head for the base. I do most of the driving during the night. We see this jeep with a large american flag wizz by but we ignore it.

In the morning we it in the hazy distance, but we spot something else - dam, that jeep again, it must be an advanced scout or something. Conner runs towards it, but is thrown off as the guy driving skids about.

Eventually Conner jumps back on and breaks the guys neck. The jeep is full of tech and net stuff, he's wired in, Mona (the new solo-medic) reveals he has a plague virus - oh shit.

A count down on one of the read outs make us run for cover, but its a false alarm.

So we reach the base. All that is visible from above is a concrete bunker and two large rows of solar panels. Me, Conner, Mona and Alexi try one door, Green-Dog, Skorp, Lawson and the fixer go to another. (first there are two camera/lasers)

For a laugh we use det-cord in the shape of me to form an Elvis cut out on the door. Conner does a good job!

There are traps and lasers in the corridor, so I throw in some grenades and Alexi uses his Stinger Rocket Launcher.

The next door opens out onto a left-right corridor, there is a grid 50x10 holes in the wall opposite.

Conner goes in, sets off the grid which fires a whole load of bullets at us. Ouch! No one seriously hurt but we're all knocked flat. I think a mirror would be a good idea so I send Mona back to the truck to get one. She gets there to report a gang of nomads ransacking it - jeez.

I run back to help her out, past the big solo stranger - who he?

Conner steps down the left hand corridor only to be hit by a microwaver field.

Alexi trys to throw him a rope which Conner can only grab in his teeth! Meanwhile Conners robo-mut meets this solo-dude and blows his nose off. The solo returns fire and blows away the dogs head, then shoots Alexi in the head, but his helmet protects. After a few apologies it turns out this guy was with the nomads after a failed mission and heard of our raid and came down to have a butchers.

As this happens I reach the truck to see Mona underneath a hairy nomad. I see red and start shooting, They're gonna pay!

I shoot a few and gather together the rest, but too many bits have disappeared from the truck. Still, theres a couple of vehicles left behind. I go back to the bunker.

We gather together and try to get in the garage doors. Det cord (in the shape of Mr Blobby) opens it up and a fire fight ensues. Alexi and the fixer go down.

Conner lobs in a whole heap of C-6. Ka-bloowie! We go in, bodies lie everywhere and there's a hole in the floor. Skorp and Lawson go down the hole and start playing with a toilet roll in the store room.

Lawson goes into the areas below - rooms for the guards mainly, and starts getting shot up by security lasers. Me and Skorp go up in a lift (two life signs Ive scanned) and find a couple shagging. We scare them then go down and cut the lift cables - Whee!

We climb down 4 floors - but here we go what a bastard. Mona Lisa decides to follow us down, but fumbles with her torch, falls from the ladder, also she's carrying a rocket launcher and five rockets. Ka-blam.

Skorps ok, but I'm mincemeat. Both my legs are seriously fucked. Time to call the Trauma Team! Me, Alexi and the fixer are flown off.

From what I heard of the rest of the mission it went like this -

Skorp et al go further down, shot up a few solo's and a guy in a PA. Skorp and Conner find two of the nets in cryogenic chambers and decide to switch then off. A count down starts.

Conner wisely runs for it, but Skorp stands there to see what happens.

(Now Alistair burns 4 points of luck!)

Conner reaches the exit and finds a safe place, then the whole bunker goes up in a huge explosion.He thinks Skorp finaly baught it, but his tattered figure emerges from the smoking ruins. Lucky bastard.

So - its back to base for a nice cup of tea and de-breifing. Time to heal, then its back to the next mission.

--- PROJECT SWEDEN ---

Our team this time is me, Skorp, Conner, Franklin James IV (a medic), 99 - a female solo, Pat Magroin - solo, Marrie Piper - solo , female and Lawson.

Our mission is to go to Oslo and protect a research base. I've made a robo-ferret and com and launcher, very useful!

The base is going to be attacked by a team (similair to ours)
Callos Moran - solo/male
Seeara Johnson - solo/female
Canina Angela - solo/medi/tech/female
Larsmeer Freeman - net/tech, male
Smiley - a hired cyber psyko.

So we turn up at the base, and start throwing our weight around. Using my mind sweep I discovered the security cheifs porno collection!

We spend a few days farting around. Conner goes into town and finds the van the attackers are in and lobs some C6 under it (me and Skorp turn up too) and just makes it through the decending carpark blast doors.

A couple of days later the base is attacked. An AV flys in, me and Pat on the roof blow it out the sky - exellent!

A truck comes barrelling up to the gates, but Conner has wired the place with C6, so its roller over
on the compound.

The biggest problem is from the fence. Smiley blasts through and Lawson lets rip with the twin FN-RALs on his truck. Evem hundreds of DPU hits don't stop the guy.

Skorp and Conner and Lawson all have robo-mutts who go for Smiley, but he's on the truck and smashing through the windscreen. 3 armoured figures climb out of the wreckage of the truck and head for the building. Luckily Pat and Marrie can intercept them. Pat grabs one. Just then a big buggy rolls up to the fence - I can see it from my point on the building.

This thing crashes through the fence, its got big buzz saw arms on it. I shot it up a bit, but it bursts in through the fire door. Luckily its trapped later on by some quick thinking by Pat.

Some of the baddies made it into the building but we get them. One of them gives me, Skorp and Conner a bit of trouble. He leaves a bomb and I unluckily get both my legs blown off. Bummer. Again.

Well, the missions a success anyway, mostly. The building and staff are more or less intact. We're shipped back to Paris and get a week to heal up - which I do super fast due to my regeneration powers!

--- THE FOUR HITS ---

Our next mission is fairly straight forward, we've a week to assasinate four folk - a tech, a net, a media and a corp.
First we go for the tech, wo loves on a house boat on the Sienne. We wait for him and he eventually turns up, but bolts for his boat. Cutney gets in too and blows his brains out, scratch one.

Me and Skorp head over to the CZ, to look out the nets haunt. Christine os operational, but theres no AI. The net is reported to be in a gang hideout of The Trojans. We pile in, Skorp falls in a pit trap and gets hit on the head by a slab of concrete. We waste a couple with Bio Tox, but the others leg it, and we're left chasing them round the streets.

Skorp blows one away. Meanwhile, the others - Marrie and 99 are trying to get passes for the corp bubble the media and corp are in.

Me and Skorp go to a coffee shop and find the gangs other hideout. This time we don't give them a chance. We come from both directions and blow them all away and set free a couple of prisoners.
We get the Net too.

Next me, Skorp and Martin Sheene (he keeps umpteen things clean!) enter the corp area with our dodgey passes. We try to get into this female medias room, but are kicked out by security. We also discover she's flown to Japan anyway.

So we get more dodgey passes and decide to go after the corp. But first, we get tarted up then go get smart suits and go to the bext night club in town. I pull a class bird. So does Martin.

We get a bit of info too. Next day we go into where the corp works and deposit Chutney, Skorp has a problem with security and gets the rubber glove up the jacksie treatment. We depart, Chuts goes in.

The corp is lecturing a room of folk. Chuts shoots his leg off then skuttles up and blows his head off, then runs down an air vent, leaving the room in chaos.

We wait for him, and try to get dodgey flights to Japan.

So we get a group of us together to fly over. Me, Skorp, Conner, Pat, Marrie, 99, some other guy. We get through the airport ok and book into hotels.

Some of us go to a brothel. Conner goes to the zoo. We find a fixer type and get dodgey corp passes which get us into where the media is working.