Mission Banana : Destination Schiehallion : Captains Log 04/08/07

Just found out that I'm probably off to Schiehallion for a wee while. Should be interesting since the old girl is about to be towed away.
I wrote a blog entry on Bebo back around the time of my first trip, here it is :

http://www.bebo.com/BlogView.jsp?MemberId=1786766001&BlogId=4514766503

Mission Banana : Destination Schiehallion : Captains Log 04/08/07

 So, got up at 8 am, skipped breakfast and took a taxi to 'Bond' heliport. I needed to get a 'Vantage' card before I went anywhere. I sort of forgot I was going to get my picture taken for it so hadn't shaved or combed my hair. 'Look into the webcam Mr Foss'. Great I looked like a car thief.
Anyway, as I'd arrived way too early I had a long wait in the small departures lounge. I had decided to not eat or drink until I arrived as I had no real clue as to how long the journey was going to be and I knew I was going to be in a survival suit the entire time! But arround 10am I gave in and had a coffee and a Twix and prayed to God that I wouldn't get caught short. My bladder and stomach are pretty unpredictable at the best of times.
Anyway, through we went to get our survival suits. 'What size Mr Foss?' I have no idea but opted for large. Ah! The survival suit - how I hate thee! At least (hopefully) I wouldn't be getting it wet as the last time I wore one was last year on the RGIT course. I was then provided with a chunky wrist watch thing which is a locater beacon (don't get it wet!) and a green arm band to show that I am a newbie. The terror started to set in.
There are bottles of water available for the trip but I avoid them as I know I will drink a whole bottle out of boredom in the first hour and then be bursting for the toilet for the rest of the trip. See? Forward planning, that's why I get paid the *ahem* big bucks.
Safety video, then the pilot comes and chats to us. Seems like a nice guy, not the sort of chap that crashes alot. I feel a bit less terrified. He then tells us that Schiehallion is 'off station' and we probably won't get on it today. Oops.
We go out, we climb into the helicopter. I get a seat at the rear facing backwards.
We take off. Hey this is fun! Unlike a commerical jet we never get very high or go very fast. It is very leasurely infact and the fields of Aberdeenshire rolled gently past until we get to Banff. I recognised the bridge so I knew where we were at that point. We then got out to sea for a short while until we reached more land. At this point I thought it was an island but checking the map back on shore now I can see it must have been Wick, John O' Groats etc. Then it was wee islands and impressive cliffs.
The cliffs were worth the entrance fee alone, the pilots must follow the coast line all along Orkney I think and I have never seen such a rugged landscape. The theme tune to Father Ted kept playing in my head.
At some places it felt as of we were virtually at the same height as the cliffs, following them along at our steady pace.
Anyway open sea again, then we landed at 'Paul B Lloyd' which appear to be a rusting hunk of scap metal plonked into the Atlantic. We had to get off while the helicopter refueled. There are no signs on the steps leading down off the helideck telling you to 'Hold the Hand Rail' (unlike Craigievar main reception!). There doesn't need to be as instinct makes you clutch on in a white-knuckle kung-fu grip until you are indoors as the rig sways and the wind blows and the roiling sea beneath lash at the rigs sides. I don't know whether the Paul B Lloyd was a rig or a platform but it fairly moved around.
We were herded into the Rec Room. It was decorated in origional '70's style and smelled of ash-trays. A film about Genghis Khan was on the TV. We hung about for about 10 minutes then we were off again!
As we took off I got a glimpse of a hulking brute of a vessel lurking in the mist, a flare glimmering off the top of it. Could this be the ellusive Schiehallion?
We then landed on the Fionhaven (or something like that). It looked as rusty as the place we had just left, but it was a ship.
I asked the man sat opposite, 'This isn't Schiehallion is it?'. He shrugged, he didn't care.
Most people got off and a bunch of new people got on. It take the opertunity to shift to a foward facing seat.
We had a new pilot now and he informed us that we would fly over Shiehallion and see what it was like, if it wasn't suitable we would fly on back to Aberdeen.
We did indeed fly over Schiehallion. I gave it a wave as we flew past it. I recognised it from the splash screen on the SMACS5 software I was supposed to be going to sort out.
Ah well, that was that, another 2 hour journey to get home, and we passed all the impressive cliffs, coast lines and other land marks I had spotted on the outward leg.
It was prudent of me not to eat or drink anything as I was four hours plus stuck in that dam survival suit. As I took it off, back at the heliport, a 'Bond' lady informed me and the other two guys who had been bound for Schiehallion that we would try again - 6am Monday!
It was 4:30pm when I got home and I was starving!