Friday, 23 December 2022

Karma Kingdom - Beta 1.0 b198

Karma Kingdom - Beta 1.0 b198


 

23/12/2022 

Christmas Update! I've got into the routine of doing - 1 bug, 1 idea and 1 random MTG card. The cards are for fun, to keep me interested. It's always fun trying to figure out how a card can fit into the game. The very first idea of this game came from imagining a game where MTG cards were used to create a kingdom.

The random card generator I use (https://scryfall.com/) seems to have thrown out nothing but Merfolk and Homorids though! But that's fine, this update just has a very 'by the seaside' feel to it. Maybe next year I'll do a properly Christmas themed one!

Graham

UPDATED

 - Henk Rekson, another hero added
- Items used in Quests have been tagged
- FIXED BUG #121 - sort court ogre fight text. XP should be blue
- FIXED BUG #122 - need another pic for mounted knight
- FIXED BUG #145 - Energy Potions - not a good name as it doesn't do energy - it does SP and HP!
- FIXED BUG #149 - mystery box click text needs to change to cherry text
- FIXED BUG #157 - bugbear quest - you do not have enough number74curr :D same for ogre
- FIXED BUG #159 - garrison should be with the other scrolls
- FIXED BUG #174 - need a space in Water potion dungeon: You gain (5) copper coins!You gain (2) XP!
- IDEA #215 - add some 'remove the underscores' to skill up stuff
- IDEA #265 - pouring out a barrel should cost a EP (Previously implemented)
- IDEA #268 - colour Taskmaster skills as cyan!
- IDEA #379 - for eval of gems find that bit of underscore stripping code and use that
- IDEA #433 - add blessing buttons to shrine on map
- Added Summon Merfolk Cleric spell (from random MTG card - 'Merfolk Cleric')
- Added Summon Blighted Steppe spell (from random MTG card - 'Blighted Steppe')
- Added Morning Sunlight spell (from random MTG card - 'Dawn's Reflection')
- Added Summon Merfolk Forestdweller spell (from random MTG card - 'Merfolk Branchwalker')
- Added Lobsterfolk Bed (from random MTG card - 'Homarid Spawning Bed'). Note: You can't get this yet. That's still to be added.
- Spells are now organised by level. This has no effect yet, but will proably have Player Level as a requirement later on. Use one rare dungeon item to gain spell, then use native sand to make spawning ground. put in overview and map!

 To play the game:

http://roztov.epizy.com/stw/generate.html


Thursday, 15 December 2022

Paradise: Chapter 6: Joshua (6312) (DRAFT)

 


Chapter 6: Joshua (6312)

By the time December rolled around, Johnny Frost was back at his flat. His money had run out again and he was working at a hotel in Langwood called The Fechy. It had once been a decent enough hotel that had catered to summer tourists, but it was now used as a place to dump displaced people and refugees while they were found better places to live. There was no luxury here, but the beds were clean, and the food was edible, a far sight better than anything down on the Delta. It was not far from Johnny’s flat, so he usually walked to work. His job was to sweep and mop the floors, move deliveries down to the stock room, and help serve the meals. He stole as much food and toilet paper as he thought he could get away with.

As the year ended, Evermarch had a quietude about it, a familiar feeling to everyone that had been in the city at this time the year before. Six months after the reditus there had been a period of fear and confusion that had led to months of rioting and killings. Nobody wanted a Christmas like last year, with everyone huddling indoors as the police and the muta roamed the streets trying to restore order and the Splinter Viruses ravaged the hospitals and care homes.

The city waited, quiet but tense, waiting to see what was going to happen. The world had changed, but now there was a new normal. Things had been calm since the summer, it was safe to walk the streets again and people were returning to what was left of their old lives. Johnny spent his time between the college, his flat and the hotel.


He was the only one left in his second-story four-bedroom flat. The other students that had once lived there had not returned to their studies this term and Johnny imagined that two of them were probably dead of drug overdoses somewhere and the other more sensible one had gone home to his parents. He was now the only one living there, and he found this greatly to his liking. He had cleaned the kitchen, the living room, and the bathroom, and aired all the upstairs bedrooms. There had been a cat once, but it seemed to have gone as well, so he had thrown out the foul litter tray that had stunk out the kitchen as well. If he could ever persuade Stiffy to come this far into Evermarch it was now a dwelling fit to take girls back to, if nothing else.

Paying the rent wasn’t a problem as the landlady had not been to collect it since the reditus. God only knew where she was now. He could just about live off food stolen from the hotel and the antiquated telephone landline was free. His only expense related to the flat was the ever-hungry electricity meter. When he ran out of money, he had to switch off the heating upstairs and sit in the dark by the fireplace in the living room until pay day. He regularly thanked God for the fireplaces as it meant that whatever the weather, he could always at least keep one room warm. He burnt anything he could find that was flammable and he gathered fallen wood from a nearby park. He was far from the only person that went there for that purpose.

As it sleeted outside, Johnny sipped at a cup of tea and looked out of his window, down to the narrow street below. Across the way was a small yard with its gate kicked in where couples would occasionally have sex and there was a kebab shop below him that occasionally opened, but that was mostly closed. The flat opposite had hung up Christmas decorations. Johnny was surprised at that. There had been a lot of confusion last year about whether people should have been celebrating the birth of Christ or not, considering that God was here now. There had been a lot of talk about it being a date that was essentially meaningless, a hangover from pagan deities and all that. The muta had tried to stop it and had succeeded, but largely because most people were more concerned about where their next meal was coming from that buying presents and hanging up stockings. Johnny himself had had beans on toast for Christmas dinner last year. He knew that the flat across from him had children in it and he assumed that the family had decided to risk it. Maybe there had been a leaflet that had gone round saying it was OK that he had missed.

With a sigh, he returned to his chair and turned on the TV. He had no shifts today; he had the whole day to himself. It was perfectly acceptable to go about Evermarch at any time of day or night now, but he preferred to stay in the flat, watching DVDs, reading books, playing computer games, or having long conversations with Stiffy on the phone. He tried to call his family a couple of times a week, but the service was patchy out west of the city and he could not always get through. In theory the recently created Evermarch Intranet was available for his education and entertainment, but like most people he had heard the stories of the muta monitoring it and kept his PC resolutely offline. Johnny had been raised in the world of mobile phones and global communication and as a result the world that he now lived in felt claustrophobic. With communication beyond about thirty miles all but impossible because of the Transition Zones and piss-poor infrastructure beyond the city, like everyone else in Evermarch he was experiencing only fragments of his former life.

He finished his tea and sat down on the sofa. He then reached for a stack of DVDs and started sorting through them. One of his flat mates had left behind a large collection and Johnny had been working his way through them. With a film selected he pulled a blanket over his legs and settled in for the afternoon. He glanced over at the phone. He’d not heard from Joe in days now and felt he was overdue for a summons. Meet me at Adam’s, pick me up at Ellie’s or whatever and Johnny would have to get dressed and go out in the ice-cold rain to drive around until he found Joe and took him to whatever shady rendezvous he had to keep. Johnny did not drink, smoke or take drugs when he was by himself or with Stiffy, but he enjoyed visiting that world, he was an art student after all, and he certainly partook when in the company of his peers. Driving Joe around his dealers was not much fun in any weather though, and no fun at all without Ellie or Wasp along for the ride. Joe’s company was best when diluted.

There was a pile of art materials in the living room, but he planned to move it upstairs. He didn’t think Rab would ever come back to the flat so he could use his room as a studio. The college had only opened for two weeks before it had been closed down again due to an outbreak of Blue Tongue. The students had been sent home with enough supplies to last them until Christmas, the idea being that they had until the start of next term to finish all their course work. Johnny hadn’t even made a start yet; he was more tempted to use all the sketchbooks and paper pads he’d been given as firelighters.

With no enthusiasm for work, he watched films instead and after watching three back-to-back and now that it was too dark to watch out the window, he called up his girlfriend.

‘Yeah, the College is closed down again, another outbreak,’ he explained. ‘So, I’m finishing off my final submissions at home.’

‘Do you think you’ll get it all done?’ she asked.

‘Yeah yeah,’ he replied. ‘Without Rab or Chris here, there are no distractions.’

‘Oh yeah!’ she said. ‘Your all alone, I forgot. Don’t let Joe find out or he’ll want to move in!’

‘God aye, I’ve not told any of them. Joe would have his bags packed and calling me for a lift over in a heartbeat.’

‘Is he still living at Mr Tucker’s place?’

‘As far as I know,’ replied Johnny, stretching out on the sofa.

Stephanie laughed. ‘Do you think he…?’

‘With Joe anything is possible,’ he interrupted. ‘To be honest I don’t know, and I don’t want to know. Tucker is an old man that lives alone and smells of patchouli oil. It’s not beyond the realms of possibility that Joe is a rent boy as well as everything else.’

Stephanie giggled.

‘Hey Stiffy old girl, when do you want to meet up next?’

Johnny liked Stiffy a lot. They had been going out now for nearly two years. When they had first met, she had been clingy and needy. He knew that his friends saw her as plain and on the plump side and that combined with her constant need for attention and reassurance had meant that just prior to the time of the reditus he had been considering breaking up with her. But then the world had changed and having someone to cling onto had seemed like a pretty good deal. Johnny was twenty and Stiffy was eighteen. When they had started going out, she had been a rosy-cheeked sixteen-year-old. Their relationship centred around arranging times and places to meet for sex, and while Johnny suspected he still meant more to her than she did to him, he never felt the urge to talk about his feelings or plan for their future and for whatever reason, neither did she.

‘We can’t do it here,’ she said. ‘Mum and Enya are still here. They are feeling better, but they are just loafing around watching TV. They’d watch us like hawks if you showed up.’

Johnny was silent while he thought about meeting places. He knew that Stiffy hated coming into Evermarch and it had been long established no matter how strong the desire and the requirements of a secluded place for a liaison, this would never involved her coming north of the river.

‘How about Bluevale?’ he asked.

‘Are you kidding?’ she said with a gasp. ‘That’s haunted!’

Johnny sighed. ‘It’s the nearest place to both of us on the Zone line though. What about Fowker Tower? I know people there.’

‘Oh, aye, well, OK then,’ said Stephanie.

Johnny laughed. ‘I don’t get you! You think Bluevale is haunted because it sprung out of the ground, but you are happy with Fowker? You know its two buildings merged into one now? How is that not more spookier?’

‘It just is,’ said Stephanie. ‘They say angels live in Bluevale.’

‘And that’s bad?’

‘I dinnae ken do I? That’s what they say. Better just to leave them, honestly Johnny.’

And so, they arranged to meet up at Fowker, a building that was the warped combination of the Gilbert Scott Building of Glasgow and the Fourmerkland Tower of Dumfries, cities that no longer existed. It was situated right on the Transition Zone-line and had been a refuge of sorts for persecuted people during last year’s pogroms. Now it was a commune of a hundred or so free-thinking types and every teenager in Evermarch had heard of it. It was a common meeting place for young clansmen and women from Evermarch and the Delta Projects.

With the arrangements made, Johnny picked up Stephanie the next day at the end of her road, not wanting to take his car (the old behemoth Beryl) down one of the narrow Project lanes, and then they drove out to Fowker. It was only a mile or so back towards the city and sat in the middle of the Zone. Where the Zone started and ended was not easily defined, but it was no broader than one hundred metres. To the south the hot humid air of the Delta met the cold winter chill of the Evermarch climate to the north. In the middle there was always a steady breeze, but to the bafflement of local meteorologists there was no hurricane force winds rushing from the north to displace the warm air of the south.

There were no checkpoints on the way, only a single police car that sat at the side of the road watching the traffic. As they entered the Zone, Johnny popped his ears and wound up the driver’s side window against the wind. A dirt track ducked down off the road and into the trees which then took them along a hundred yards or so to a field that was used as Fowker’s car-park. There were a dozen vehicles here, five of which never moved and two of which were being lived in.

The air temperature at Fowker was cool and Stephanie reached over to the back seat to get her coat. Johnny looked up at the tower. In the fading afternoon light, it looked like the result of an architect’s acid trip, two buildings literally merged into one, spiralling and twisting, the gothic sandstone balconies and turrets knitting together with the older mortared red brick walls of Fourmerkland. Seeming to defy gravity it reached up above the forest like the jutting horn of a giant beast.

They got out of the car and after letting their eyes wander the twisted stone of the tower, they walked along one of the overgrown paths that lead around it. There was music and chatter coming from the upper floors.

‘You don’t want to go in do you?’ asked Stephanie from inside her thick goose-down jacket. She had grown used to the heat in the Projects and felt the cold whenever she was out of the Delta.

‘Eh?’ said Johnny. ‘It’s fine, no one ever bothers you in there.’

‘It’s dirty and full of junkies.’

‘It’s not that bad. I thought you wanted to come here so we could… you know…’

Stephanie held him tightly by the arm. ‘Not in there though.’

Johnny shrugged and smiled. He wanted to go in and see what was going on. He knew a few of the tower’s denizens and they were always interesting to talk to, but he knew it wasn’t her scene, so they took a turn around the weed-choked formal gardens and returned to the car.

He moved Beryl into the trees and after they had done the business on the spacious back seat they lay together under the blankets and fell asleep in each other’s arms. It was dark when they woke up. As they dressed they chatted about what to do for dinner.

‘McDonalds?’ asked Johnny, trying to tempt her further into Evermarch.

‘Oh, we had one the other night. Mum can’t be bothered cooking,’ replied Stephanie as she tied her headscarf.

‘What then?’

‘Let’s just eat at one of warungs on the Delta.’

Johnny was not a huge fan of the Delta street-vendor food, but he had just had sex, so was prepared to go along with whatever she wanted. The settled on getting drive-through coffees from the nearest Evermarch McDonalds and going back to the Delta to eat.


The police car they had passed on the way up had gone when the returned to the Delta, but it had been replaced by a checkpoint. Johnny felt his stomach tense up as he slowed down. It was the muta, not one of the more amiable police detachments. A group of half a dozen Committee enforcers checking vehicles passing through the Zone.

They had not set up a roadblock, but there were no other cars on the road so Beryl, the big old Splinter that she was, was an irresistible target and he was waved down with torches into a lay-by.

A light was shone in his face, he grimaced and wound down the window. A stern looking woman in a black headscarf addressed him. ‘Papers please.’

Johnny glanced at Stiffy, who was cowering in the passenger seat, then said, ‘we don’t have any. We came from the Delta this afternoon and you weren’t here.’

‘Are you related?’

Johnny considered lying but knew that wouldn’t fly. Stiffy had long red hair and was covered in freckles while he was dark. They were very obviously not related.

The woman moved to shine her light onto the back seat. The beam lingered on the crumpled-up blankets.

‘Have you been having sex?’

‘No!’ Johnny lied. ‘We were up at McDonalds getting a coffee.’

‘Please get out of the vehicle.’

Johnny sighed and got out. One of the other muta opened the passenger door and hauled Stiffy out by the arm. The lay-by was only lit by Beryl’s headlamps and the torches of the Committee enforcers, but he could see there were six of them, all female, dressed in black and carrying bamboo canes.

‘Put her across the bonnet,’ commanded the oldest one that had been doing all the talking. Stiffy was completely silent as two of the other women held her down across the front of the car, her head turned towards the road in shame.

The commander walked over to where Stiffy was spread out and raised her cane high above her head. The swing never came down though as Johnny leapt between them.

‘Oi!’ he yelled, pulling the woman’s hand away. ‘No, you fucking don’t!’

One of the other women went to strike him, but he batted her cane out of the way. She raised it again, but he swiftly grabbed it, yanked it from her grasp and then threw it off into the bushes.

The commander stepped up and looked him in the eye. Johnny’s heart was racing, he wasn’t strong, but the commander could see he was ready to take them all on.

‘Now then,’ she said. ‘That’s enough.’

He sensed a hesitation in her tone. He didn’t know what was going to happen next, but he had a sudden chivalrous urge to protect Stiffy no matter what. While the muta hesitated, he tried to pull the two holding her off.

‘Young man, just stop now,’ said the commander as she pulled a paper pad out of her bag. ‘No more of this. We’ll write you up a ticket. Lucky for you we are not in the Delta, or you’d be in much worse trouble.’

Johnny turned to look at her. He sensed that she was offering him an out. Take the ticket and walk away. It looked like they knew they had overstepped their authority out here in the Zone. Either that or they had thought he was a Project clansman and not a Evermarcher, who were altogether a lot more bother.

‘Right,’ he said. ‘Give me the ticket then.’


Back out on the road, with the adrenaline still coursing through his blood, Johnny ranted, slapping the steering wheel in agitation.

‘Who do they think they are?’ he almost yelled. ‘We’re clansmen, they can’t treat us like that! Jumped up Delta muta. There are laws about harassing people like that these days.’

He glanced at Stiffy, then looked back at the road.

‘I mean, we had trouble enough last year until the church stepped in. If those wankers are back out in force, then something needs to be done! Get the bloody army in again. I think... hey… hey…’

Johnny stopped ranting when he saw that Stiffy was in tears, quietly sobbing to herself, with her head turned towards the window.

‘Hey,’ he repeated. ‘Don’t worry about it. It was me they gave the ticket to, not even me really, they issued the ticket to Beryl. They never took our names, did they? It’ll be fine.’

He laughed. ‘Did you see the look on their faces when I… Well anyway.’ He trailed off when he remembered that Stiffy had been face down on the bonnet of the car for most of the encounter.

Johnny spent the rest of the short trip home talking gently about trivial things and by the time they were at her road-end she was much calmer and reading the ticket by the dashboard light.

‘You have fourteen days to make a Sin Offering at the Temple. After that they come with the canes.’

‘They can get tae fuck,’ grumbled Johnny. ‘I’m packing up and going to mum and dad’s.’

‘Can’t they still get you out there?’

‘Maybe, but there is no way I’m doing an Offering,’ he replied. ‘I’m not paying to have any animals killed on my behalf. I’m a vegan for fuck’s sake.’

‘You have to, or they come after you,’ she insisted.

‘Maybe in the Delta, but not out in the hills. I’m going to get all my gear together and stay at my parents over Christmas. Want to come? They love you.’

‘I’ve got mum and Enya…’

They both got out of the car, then hugged and kissed in the light of a streetlamp.

‘Listen, I’ll call you tonight,’ Johnny murmured, his chin resting on her shoulder. ‘Take care babe, it’ll be fine.’

When he got back in the car, she leaned back in the window to kiss him again. ‘I love you,’ she said before turning and walking down the road.

Johnny sighed, wound up his window and turned the car in the middle of the deserted road. He was careful to take a different road back to Evermarch.


The next day, having packed up most of his stuff into Beryl and locking up the flat, Johnny headed west, following the old A74 up into the hills. The western side of the Transition Zone lay much further out than its southern edge that hugged the city. The village where his parents lived was thirty miles away and the Zone was ten miles beyond that, or so he was told. There were plenty of back-roads in this area and he used these to avoid the checkpoints. He had lived his entire life in these hills and had travelled these roads from his parent’s village to the city every weekend. When the Splintering had rearranged the entire planet, it had only managed to add a single mile onto his commute. The villages he passed through mainly consisted of old cottages that hugged the road, while newer houses were built further back, with the newest on the furthest edges. It was all still the same, nothing had been changed by the reditus up here, and it showed. The people were largely untroubled by the muta. This was the land of the Covenanters and there was a racial memory of resistance against religious persecution. Many of the villages still had monuments standing in honour of those that had resisted the English kings and their religious policies.

As he drove passed one, he read the inscription:


"Why seeks he, with unwearied toil,
Through death's dim walls to urge his way,
Reclaim his long-arrested spoil,
And lead oblivion into day."


Johnny pictured a group of farmers reading it before turning and standing in the road with loaded shotguns and thunderous scowls. Enough to see off any but the most determined contingent of Committee enforcers, he was sure. The muta were not welcome here and had learned to stay away.


With every mile he felt the oppression of Evermarch lift off his shoulders. It was almost as if, in the Lowland glens of what remained of Galloway, the reditus had simply never happened. Almost. People didn’t go into the city for their shopping any longer and the ministers got more business, but that was about it. In the first month of the reditus Johnny had spent three months up here with his parents and had missed the worst of it in the city. He had heard the stories from Joe and from Stiffy, but these were all other people’s tales, tales that were so outlandish that he had hardly taken them in and had yet to process them. He was stoned most of the time in Evermarch, which didn’t help. He had heard that thousands of people had died in the city back at the start, but mainly because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time or had pissed off the wrong people. The fact that he was now back at college indicated some return to normalcy.


Johnny was only ten miles away from home when, much to his surprise given the isolated nature of the area, he was stopped by his first police roadblock. A T-junction had been closed off and traffic was waiting in a queue at the turning. The main road was closed off. He was about a dozen cars back and despite the cold weather some of the locals were standing at the front of the line talking. He wound down his window to try and catch what they were saying.

‘Just wait,’ said the copper to some of the drivers. ‘The army is coming through. Shouldn’t be long now.’

They waited. More cars pulled up and joined the line. A tractor trundled up and diverted into a field to avoid waiting, noisily throwing out clouds of smoke as it climbed up the muddy hillside.

Eventually a deep low rumbling sound heralded the arrival of the army, and a line of trucks came into view. Like a few of the others, Johnny got out of his car and went up to the roadblock to get a better view. One by one the army trucks rolled past, engines roaring as they changed gear for the hill. Dozens went past. Some had the rear flaps lifted up, with the tired looking soldiers peering out. A few returned the waves and salutes of the locals, but most did not.

Next came the flat beds carrying tanks and armoured cars, taking up the whole road.

‘Jesus,’ muttered Johnny as he watched them pass.

Finally, a mixture of cattle trucks, pickups, tractors pulling wooden trailers, all manner of vehicles, came up. Each of them was packed with slaves, a multitude of forlorn and dirty people, cold and shivering in the winter air.

‘Fucking Hell,’ said Johnny several times as they passed. As he watched agape, he began to catch the eyes of people as they passed, each of them eyeing him with a look of hungry despair. Help us, their eyes said, and to his shame Johnny cast down his eyes and looked only at the wheels of the trucks as they thundered past.

After what felt like an age, the final rear-guard arrived, following the convoy of slaves, then after the final armoured car had gone by the cops got back into their cars and drove off, not even bothering to sort out all the cars and tractors that they had stacked up at the junction.

‘Fuck me,’ swore Johnny after he had returned to Beryl and starred her up. ‘It’s going to go down in Evermarch once that lot arrives.’

It was dark by the time he got to his parent’s road-end. He was anxious to tell them about what he had seen. As he slowly rolled into the farmyard, he saw that all the light in the barn were on. He wondered why that could be.


***

Jack was not a talkative person at work. Bunn and the others were used to him keeping his own council, which suited old blowhards like Bunn. They knew his brother was back and they had lots of questions about the army and what had been happening up north, but Jack generally give very short answers and they soon found easier sources of information.

Jack didn’t mind talking about what he knew, he just didn’t want to talk about his brother. Whatever had happened, it had clearly left a mark on Randy. Jack hadn’t thought about it deeply, he just assumed that Randy would bounce back in his own time, he was too much of an optimist to think otherwise. If he dwelt on it at all, he ended up missing his father so he would force himself to think about something else instead. You got good at that when you spent most of your day just standing about.


The Temple Guards had an hourly shift pattern at the gates. There was always two of them there, whatever time of day or night it was, in full uniform and armed with MP5s. Jack was generally paired with Bunn, as none of the others could endure his company for an entire shift. Jack just let it all wash over him, like listening to a radio in the background. Occasionally he would tune in, but most of the time he would let Bunn ramble on, nodding occasionally so as not to appear rude.

Bunn was shorter than Jack and a good deal fatter. He was nearly sixty and had the red face and strawberry nose of man that liked to drink. He was constantly smoking and would sneak cigarettes, cupped in the palm of his hand while on gate duty. A former policeman he had been drawn to the Temple Guards as a perceived softer option, or so he said.

It was nine in the morning; the gates had been opened and people were drifting in. Mostly folk making offerings before work. Jack and Bunn stood together beside the guard hut, chatting.

‘Have you heard anything about the new Tabernacle?’ asked Bunn.

Jack shrugged. He waved through a group of four penitent women with the muzzle of his sub-machine-gun.

‘No?’ asked Bunn. ‘Fuck knows where though. It’s whacky if you ask me. Curtains, ringlets, tent poles, all measured precisely to match all the others. It’ll be a show piece though. The operation here is too big to move into a fucking circus tent.’

Their radio’s crackled. A far-away voice informed them that the days deliveries wear an hour late.

‘And I heard they are opening up the stadium again,’ said Bunn.

Jack glanced over at Bunn with alarm.

‘Nah, not like last time, dinnae worry,’ said Bunn. ‘Temporary shelter for a bunch of slaves they are bringing up from Goldengreens I heard.’

‘Rubbish.’

‘Nah,’ rumbled Bunn, ‘I got it off one of the drivers.’



A man, bearded and wearing tassels on his coat like all the other men, approached the gate. In his left hand he carried a cage that had two pigeons in it and under his right arm he carried a turtle.

‘Hey mate, where you are going with that lot?’ enquired Bunn.

The man stopped and looked up, seemingly startled to have been addressed.

‘I err,’ said the man. ‘I got a fixed penalty notice to do an atonement. Sin Offering and a Burnt Offering.’

‘I can see that,’ nodded Bunn, with a heavy sarcasm only achievable by old coppers. ‘You didn’t read the FPN properly though, did you? You’ve need to go home and shave your head.’

‘Fuck’s sake!’ groaned the man. ‘I took two buses to get here!’

Bun leaned back and laughed. ‘Them’s the rules buddy.’

Jack laughed too, but it was in his nature to help people. “Look, you can leave the beasts in the guard hut and go down to the showers by the Sin Offerings. See if you can beg a razor off an acolyte, then come back here.”

‘Bless you son!’ exclaimed the man handing over his burden. Jack took the cage and the turtle and put them in the hut.

‘You are too soft,’ remarked Bunn as the man jogged off and entered the Temple.

Jack smiled and said nothing.


Nathan Jack’s shift pattern had changed so he was now walking home in the evening. He liked this less than his morning walks. Wormwood rose in the south at night, and he hated it lurking over his left shoulder as he walked. He was grateful to get indoors.

As he entered the flat, he looked for Randolph. His brother had been out of town for a couple of days, reporting back to Headquarters. He was due back today and there he was sat on the sofa playing video games.

‘He bro!’ said Randolph glancing up at Nathan.

‘Where is everyone else?’

‘At a neighbour’s, dunno. Let’s play a game.’ Randolph quit the game he was playing and began to load up a two player one.

There was a bottle of cola on the table and Nathan poured himself a glass as the game loaded. Neither of them drank alcohol, there father was Scottish, but had never drank in front of them.

‘Just like old times,’ remarked Randolph as his brother sat down beside him.

As they played, they talked. Randolph soon got onto the subject of his recent experiences in the army.

‘City after city we went to, all this land jumbled up together up north. Must have crossed a dozen zone lines. Forest, town, desert, frozen lands, back to forest. It was like going through different biomes in Minecraft.’

Nathan laughed at that. Randy laughed too. ‘Yeah, that was the best bit, not knowing what we were going to see next. But it never ended well. Anyone that resisted, and they usually did, we had to fight. The mullahs just didn’t know when to stop. The army hated it, but the mullahs took off the prisoners and killed them in secret places. The women and children were taken as slaves.’

‘Jeez,’ said Nathan in a whisper.

‘And the giants too. The mullahs called them Nephilim, the fallen ones, and wanted all of them killed. Our hearts weren’t in it at all though. That’s when the mutinies started.’

‘But giants?’ asked Nathan. ‘Are the not, like, really strong?’

‘Yeah, they are,’ conceded Randolph. ‘But they are also really big, which makes them really easy to shoot.’

‘How big?’

‘Like, as tall as trees. Tall as this flat. They are slow and ungainly. Honestly, it was like shooting giraffes. They were harmless.’

‘I never know if you are telling me the truth or not,’ commented Nathan.

‘It’s right there in the bible though, innit bro? Thou shalt not kill. Those mullahs just wanted to kill everybody. Not that I care about what the bible says.’

‘You should talk like that anywhere near the muta, you’ll get arrested.’

‘I give a shit what they think?’ asked Randolph. ‘We’re the fucking army and we’re here now. Things are going to change around here.’

Nathan was alarmed, not at what his brother was saying, but how he was saying it. His little brother didn’t talk like this. Even when they had been Temple Guards together Randolph was always acting the clown, he was always joking about and bantering with the other guards. He never swore either, even when others around him were doing it. He had a new seriousness about him that Nathan didn’t recognise and army life had evidently cured him of his aversion to bad language.

‘It’s done now though,’ sighed Randolph. ‘No one left up north worth killing.’

‘What do you mean?’

‘The people up there, you know, they were all mixed in. Hard to tell where they had come from before, just the sweepings of the planet. The mullahs designated one lot Canaanites, another lot Hittites. Those guys over there are Amorties, those are Girgashites, those are Perizzites, Hivites, Jebusites. At first it seemed sort of sensible. A way of grouping people, you may as well call them something since they were all from different places. They had all just banded together after the reditus. But what the mullahs were doing was giving them names of enemies from the bible so that we could be justified in killing them or taking them slaves with a clear conscious. What we were doing was a crusade in all but name.’

Nathan was speechless. Randolph looked over at him as the next level of their game loaded.

‘I’m still a Muslim, Nate,’ said Randolph. ‘You know. I used to think – if bad things are happening then that's Allah punishing you and if good stuff happens then that's Allah rewarding you. Now I don’t know. It’s like now that God is here, we don’t have that personal relationship with him any more, you know what I mean? It’s not about just you. People are rewarded or punished in groups. God doesn’t deal in individuals any longer.’

‘Come on Randy…’

‘Any work at the Temple?’ asked Randolph suddenly brightening and changing the subject. ‘Ah forget it, they’d never discharge me anyway. I’m one of the few ones that hasn’t gone crazy.’

‘They’d take you back,’ said Nathan. ‘It’s all old men and lazy coppers now.’

They played for a while longer. Randolph glanced up at the clock on the wall. ‘When are they due back?’

‘They are at Mala’s house. Probably about nine. We should make our own dinner.’

‘Is Evaline with them?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well,’ said Randolph. ‘There is this other thing. I’ve got two new wives now. They both hate me. I don’t blame them. I didn’t want them that’s for sure, but we all had to do it. I don’t know what to do with them, they are still back at HQ.’

‘Oh my God!’ exclaimed Nathan. ‘Evaline is going to absolutely flip!’

‘I know,’ shrugged Randolph. He had lost the game. He put down the controller and leaned back on the sofa. ‘The other married men are the same. We’ve all got letters to show to our wives – our first wives. If Evaline starts yelling, she can take it up with the church.’

‘If?’ laughed Nathan. ‘Oh my God, bro. She’s going to go mental.’

‘Anyway,’ sighed Randolph. ‘It can keep for a bit longer. Old coppers you say? That’s what they used to replace all the lads that joined the army? Any good?’

‘They’re OK.’

Randolph knew the worst that Nathan could ever say about anyone was that they were “OK”. It was the closest he ever got to describing someone as an arsehole.

‘I heard today that they are opening up the Stadium again,’ went on Nathan. ‘Not like last time though. There are three hundred slaves coming up from the jungle. They are going to put them there.’

‘How do they plan to do that?’

‘God knows. It’s going to be a big deal though.’

Randolph made a dismissive ‘pftt’ sound.

‘Maybe not a big deal to the army, but a big deal for us,’ conceded Nathan.

Randolph was distant for a moment, then said, ‘those places we went to, where we killed everyone that resisted us. I told you we took the women and children as slaves. You think you have problems with three hundred? There are thirty-two thousand in army camps all the way back along out supply line for fifty miles. There are five thousand in a camp just five miles away. The spoils of war. I dunno bro, I dunno. And those mullahs, every one of them madder than the last. When Fred Tandy gets here… Mashallah…’

‘Whose Fed Tandy?’

‘He was the worst of them. A butcher with the blood of thousands on his hands, bro. I can’t even… I can’t even put it into words the things he did, and the things he had us do. I can’t...’

Randolph got up and went to lie down in his mother’s room. A little later Nathan went to the kitchen to made dinner.



Sunday, 4 December 2022

Short Story: The Great Balance

 


The Great Balance

It was a bright December morning in the year 2085 when Mrs Hatch arrived at the opulent home of Vincent Trusk, the richest man on the planet. She had with her the stumbling figure of Mr Undungo, who was in turn, the poorest man on the planet.

They avoided the press by using a rear entrance and made their way through a series of servant areas before being finally received by Mr Trusk himself, a slender bald-headed man dressed in cream-coloured linen. He stood beside a long, curved white sofa in a minimalist styled room that served as his office. The southern wall of the room was ceiling to floor glass and looked out over a sweltering, partially flooded, city.

‘Minister Hatch,’ said Trusk as he motioned them to the sofa. ‘Some tea perhaps?’

While tea was served, Mrs Hatch, evidently nervous, began laying out some papers. With nowhere else to put them she resorted to the sofa beside her. With nowhere to put a cup of tea either, she motioned away the TruskCorp serving robot. The robot then went to serve Mr Undungo, who regarded it rather as a dog would regard a lawn mower.


Mr Undungo had recently been bathed, but was still leaving stains on the immaculate upholstery, a situation that everyone in the room was choosing to ignore. Mrs Hatch, a middle-aged lady in a traditional A-line skirt and frock jacket, with her thoughts finally in order, began the discussion of the purpose of their visit.

‘Ah’, she said, looking up. ‘Yes sorry, that is all your paperwork there. Well anyway, I’m sure I don’t need to tell you how much press interest there has been in this, which is why we are here in person. After we have concluded, I’ll be giving a short… ah… press conference I suppose, which you will be welcome to join…’

She trailed off as Trusk scowled and walked over to the window. ‘This whole thing is ridiculous!’ he exclaimed. He then turned and pointed at Undungo. ‘Who even is this man?’

‘This is Mr Undungo,’ replied Hatch as calmly as she could. ‘He is the poorest man from the poorest city in the poorest nation on Earth. He is the person you are to be balanced with. He is the man who will receive exactly half your wealth.’

‘I rent my legs!’ Undungo suddenly yelped.

‘Yes,’ agreed Hatch, patting him on one of his prosthetic thighs. ‘You certainly do. The richest to the poorest, as Madame President says. The greater the disparity, the greater the balance.’

‘Absurd,’ snarled Trusk. ‘And tell me Minister Hatch, are you to be balanced?’

'Everyone is. Even me.'

'How much do you lose then? You happy with that?'

'I am not rich. It’s a matter of public record. I am matched with a dog breeder in Hounslow, I gain 35,412 pounds exactly.'

'Lucky you,’ snorted Trusk. ‘But people will stop working, you know. They will just sit and wait for the Balance.'

'At this stage, Mr Trusk, it seems we have no other choice but to try. Chronic tax avoidance on the part of oligarchs and billionaires such as yourself has led us to this point.'

'It’s not fair. Who gave President Thunberg the authority, certainly not me!'

‘It is precisely fair,’ corrected Hatch. ‘It’s not money that rules any longer, Mr Trusk, its fairness. Don’t you agree Mr Undungo?’

'I can have my own legs?'

‘And more beside Mr Undungo! You'll be a billionaire!’

‘Spare legs for church days, then?’ mused Undungo, rubbing his chin.

‘Well, I’m sure you’ll get the idea Mr U…’

‘You see!’ cried Trusk. ‘He won’t know what to do with the money, what a waste!’

‘I suggest you read the legislation again Mr Trusk. Even if he does waste it, it is still seen to be a better option than letting people like you continue to sit on great piles of wealth or worse, shooting it off into space.’

‘This won’t stand!’ declared Trusk, ‘You shall be hearing from my lawyers!’

He had the robot usher them out. The interview was over.


***

That very next day Mr Trusk spoke to his account, Mr Cleavepenny, an expert in tax evasion, who had come up with an idea on how to bilk the Balance. They spoke over an encrypted online video call.

‘It’s a simple shell game at the end of the day,’ said Cleavepenny with a lupine smile. ‘If you have someone in mind, give them a call. If not, I can suggest a few names.’

‘No, I get the idea, I have the perfect person for this scam. Start drawing up the paperwork.’



Mr Trusk killed the call and then dialled up an old acquaintance, a failed movie produce called Edna Bag.

‘What do you want, Vincent?’ she groaned as she stubbed out a cigarette into an empty wine glass. ‘You already have everything. A pound of flesh perhaps?’

‘Nothing like that,’ he replied soothingly. ‘I just want to make a proposition. You never did get that film The Sands of Semeru off the ground, did you?’

‘As you well know, you bastard. You pulled the plug when you bought the studio.’

‘Yes, yes,’ he said with a dismissive hand gesture. ‘All water under the bridge, now just hear me out…’

After he had made his offer, Bag rolled her eyes and lit a cigarette with a pistol-shaped lighter. ‘So, let’s get this right then. To avoid giving this guy Undungo half a trillion dollars, you put it all into my film. This will force Hatch to rebalance you now that your cupboard is bare. When the music stops, I cancel Sands, give you the money back, but I get 50 billion off my debts to the studio.’

‘In a nutshell,’ agreed Trusk.

‘They will Balance me too you know; how will that work?’

‘Mr Cleavepenny will send over the details, but essentially the money will be in the film and not your bank account. We hide it there until the Balance is over and I save almost all of it.’

‘What stops me from keeping it all?’

‘I believe Mr Cleavepenny will also send over some papers for you to sign to make sure that you don’t.’

‘Fine, fine,’ she said reaching for the button to disconnect the call. ‘Not like I have any choice in the matter.’

***

Some months later, having lost everything in the end, Mr Trusk turned up at the semi-drowned city hall offices of Mrs Hatch, now a senior advisor to President Thunberg.

After some unpleasant pleasantries he pleaded his case.

‘Cleavepenny and Bag took it all, don’t you understand? They did the whole thing behind my back. I’m saddled with five hundred billion in debt that I can’t pay because my money is still tied up in that wretched film!’

‘I’m so very sorry to hear that Mr Trusk,’ said Hatch with apparently genuine concern. ‘If it’s any consolation, you’ll be pleased to know that Mr Undungo did fine. He was matched with the second richest person in the world after your...’

Any consolation? Why would you think I would care about him?’ said Trusk, prior to burying his head in his hands.

‘Well,’ sighed Hatch. ‘Take comfort from this then, if you are as deeply in debt as you say, then you should do pretty well out of next year’s Balance.’

He looked up in amazement. ‘There is going to be another one?’

'Oh, I’m breaking new here, but yes, the senate has decreed it. Every year from now on, there will be a Balance.'

***

A year later Vincent Trusk was in jail. He could not hold out until the next Balance and his debts buried him. With the vultures circling, going to jail was the best option out of several other terrible ones.

Tall, gaunt, and dressed in orange he was escorted to a VIP visitor’s room where his shackles were removed, and he was sat at a cheap plastic table. Minister Hatch entered and sat at the other side of the table.

‘I see your friend Mr Undungo is doing well,’ he admitted with a sigh. ‘I follow his progress on the news.’

‘Ah yes, yes,’ agreed the Minister. ‘Some shrewd investments. He seemed to get the hang of being a billionaire pretty quickly.’

‘Huh OK, so, are you just here to gloat?’

‘Not at all. You see, with your massive spiralling debts, you are now at the far side of the map for this year’s Balance. I felt that, given the circumstances, I should deliver the news to you personally.’

‘What?’

‘You are to be Balanced with Mr Undungo again, and now half of his fortune will come back to you.’

‘I’ll be rich again?’ stuttered Trusk.

‘Yes, but only half as rich as when we first met. Well done Mr Trusk,’ smiled Minister Hatch. ‘You took the long way around, but you got there in the end!'