Monday, 25 March 2024

(G552 02/03/2024 via Roll20 - JF(GM), KT, AL) YI19

 (G552 02/03/2024 via Roll20 - JF(GM), KT, AL) YI19



[Fenrir the Warlock, Giselle the Bard, Corhim the Gnomish Wizard and Dak the half-orc barbarian are inside the Fortress of the Yaun-ti.]

DAY 621 (14th Uktar) (November) cont ...

Dak was probably pretty chuffed with himself for slaying a dragon. So I feel rather bad pointing out that it was quite small and a lot of the combat had involved him sitting on it. Still, its not something that you do every day.

As he came upstairs, Giselle drank a healing potion, having been injured in the last fight.

Dak was sent up the stairs were the dragon had come from while Fenrir watched from the back. When the entrance to the tower seemed clear they all went in and entered a bedroom that among other things had a large nest made of dried mud and bones. Fenrir shot it, just to be safe.

Dak found a spellbook in the cupboard and gave it to Sparkledingle.

They explored some more of the rooms in tower and found a map room, then  went up the stairs to another landing. Issiel, the Master of the Way was lurking up here. It was his bedroom they had raided. Fenrir killed him with a single blast.

They went up further into the tower and encountered a yeth hound and some sail-snakes on the outer balcony. These were dealt with quickly and looking out over the balcony they could see the village and the surrounding fields.

Having killed and looted their way through the tower they returned to the large room at the top of the fortress that had the portals and statues in it.

They found some secret doors and tunnels in the north west corner and Dak was determined there most be more so spent a good half hour or so poking at statues and pillars. He didn't find anything, but while they were loitering about the chamber, six abominations through a side door and attacked.

Startled, Corhim cast his Black Tentacle spell, but the yuan-ti all managed to dodge them. They shot back with their own magic, including a fireball that blew poor Thoburk into crispy chunks.

Fenrir responded with a Wall of Flame and Corhim cast Grease into them. The abominations stayed inside the wall of fire and used their own magic.

A Suggestion spell landed on Dak and he lay down, then tried to grab Fenrir by the ankles. More fireballs were also sent in their direction, as well as a Cone of Cold. This time they had a bit more of a challenge on their hands!

Fenrir tried to kick Dak away, while blasting at abominations trying to get through the flames. After some of them died in the fire, the others fled. Only one managed to make it out alive and Fenrir chased after it.

He followed it through the secret tunnel to another tower, but it had made its escape and he turned back to tell the others what he had found.

All of them were injured from the big fight with the abominations though and Corhim had used a lot of magic so they decided to rest. Corhim used a Rope Trick spell and they all climbed up into the dimensional pocked at the top of the rope and pulled it up behind them.


DAY 622 (15th Uktar) (November) 

At about four in the morning they were rested enough to take on a bit more of the fortress so after an early breakfast they all climbed down the rope again.

Saturday, 23 March 2024

(G551 24/02/2024 via Roll20 - JF, KT, AP(GM), AD) YI-B4

 (G551 24/02/2024 via Roll20 - JF, KT, AP(GM), AD) YI-B4



[Myself (Rollo), Reinward and Fang have teleported from Yag Island to a "Wasp Dungeon" on a quest to find the "Stone of the Sparkledingles".]

DAY 620 (13th Uktar) (November) cont ...

The next chamber we came to had a big minotaur in it. I was pushed forward to deal with it. It tried talking in common, and then in giant. This was a language that it understood.

We chatted and I found out it had been 'teleported here by a wizard'. It was so large it couldn't really get out of the room it was in by any of the exits.

I told it I could teleport it out later if it promised to be no trouble.

Through his room and out the other side we came to a corridor which led to a room full of hell wasps. This was our first real go at them and I cast Murderous Mist. It hurt them, but it hurt us too and there were just too many wasps so we ran back to the minotaur's room and teleported out.

We took the minotaur with us. His name was Wrunas and I said he could stay at the Barrow as long as he behaved himself. He seemed a bit baffled by everything, but happy enough to get some food and relax for a bit. I told Sylvia to keep an eye on him.

I got my books out and did some research on Hell Wasps. I then got Jiggles to go shopping for me and she brought back:

4 empty keg barrels

16 jars of jam

2 gallons of blood

The idea was I would make enticing wasp traps that would lure them out of our way and hopefully even kill them.

Reinward also bought seven vials of acid.

All the monster bits I'd collected so far I left with Sylvia to look after. I'll deal with them later.

Anyway, time to blow out the candle and go to bed. We'll try Wasp Dungeon again tomorrow.


DAY 621 (14th Uktar) (November)

We teleported back into the dungeon and I filled one of my kegs with water, jam and blood, then put it through the door of the room where the wasps were.

We waited about an hour and looked in on them from the other entrance to the room. They were certainly distracted and it was maybe killing some of them but there was still no shortage of wasps.

For the second barrel at different room I tried with a paper (jam smeared) top with holes in it. We watched from a safe-ish distance as the wasps went for the keg, but they also went for us so we pulled back to another room and shut the door.

Even with the barrels, the wasps were just too much work, so we explored other areas of the dungeon by simply distracting and avoiding them. As we worked our way around the corridors myself and Fang took the lead. Reinward followed along, muttering about someone called "Gemini". A girlfriend perhaps?

We came to one last room full of Hell Wasps. There was a trap and Reinward disabled it, then picked the lock. We discussed tactics and I told him about the spells I had at my disposal, one of which was Vortex of Teeth.

'Right, here is the plan!' he said. 'Smear me in jam and blood, then cast that with me in the middle bit where I can't get hurt!'

It sounded like a risky plan to me, but who was I to argue? We smeared him up good and proper then sent him in. The Wasps went wild and I cast the Vortex around him.

A huge school of transparent piranhas swam rapidly through the air, magical fish made of force that tore into the wasps ravenously. 

For some reason, as the wasps went for him, Reinward stepped backwards into the piranha swarm and for a few moments he waved his arms around going, 'ahh! the wasps! ahh! the piranhas!'

When his nerves settled he started through jars of acid about the place. He then cast Dispel Evil which destroyed one of the Hell Wasp swarms, then tried a Holy Smite. I cast a Flame Strike into the mix too.

It was just a mess of jam, wasps, fish, smoke and flames with Reinward still somehow alive in the middle of it. I cast another Flame Strike. Gradually the wasps swarms dissipated until there was nothing but smoldering insect carapaces all over the floor.

With that all done and Reinward patched back up, we moved on. More dungeon, more maze-like corridors. What a strange place this was!

We finally came to our final room. A large chamber that contained some sort of howling dinosaur ... thing? (I've since deduced that this was a "Destrachan")

We all charged in, as it howled at us with its sonic attack. Reinward left fly with some of his daggers, one of which accidentally hit Fang in the back. This enraged him enough to kill the beast with a few deft chops of his sword. He did it so quickly I didn't even have time to get my crocodiles summoned.

I chopped its head off and stuffed it in my bag for later study. In this room also - lo and behold! - was a large crystal ball that very much looked like the Stone of the Sparkledingles. We trousered the Stone and teleported out.

Back at the Barrow, Felia seemed delighted to get her hands on the Stone. I wonder what it does?

Thursday, 21 March 2024

(G550 17/02/2024 via Roll20 - JF(GM), KT, AL) YI18

 (G550 17/02/2024 via Roll20 - JF(GM), KT, AL) YI18



[Fenrir, Giselle, Corhim and Dak have are inside the Fortress of the Yaun-ti.]

DAY 621 (14th Uktar) (November) cont ...

With the lower levels of the Fortress cleared of enemies and the prisoners all escaping through the main entrance, our heroes went up the ramps to the upper levels.

The fortress was on high alert now though and they met a squad of five strong yuan-ti abominations coming down. Fenrir started with the Eldritch Cones and the abominations shot back with Magic Missiles and Fireballs. Again, although lurking at the back, poor Corhim was hit by a Fireball and badly hurt. He cast Stinking Cloud from around the corner then went into hiding.

A squad of lizardmen arrived at the stairs, drawn by the sounds of battle. More Fireballs were thrown about and Thoburk was very nearly killed. Eventually though, Dak and Fenrir won the day, slaying most of their enemies and forcing the rest to retreat.

The first of the upper areas was dominated by a balcony that went around the top of the main hall below. From the balcony there were many doors to other rooms. They explored some of the rooms then moved on.

Fenrir tried to get rid of Thoburk, for his own safety, but Corhim kept on "helping" and interrupting. Perhaps he didn't want to be the only one that kept nearly dying?

The next chamber of interest they came to was the Gate Room. A strange electric glow was eclipsed by this chamber's four massive columns. Stone arches along the southwest and northwest walls were filled with maelstroms of brilliant green light that obscured whatever lay behind them. A similar arch stood in the west wall, but it did not glow. Beyond it was only blank stone.

Just then four yuan-ti half-bloods appeared at the stairs and attacked them, shooting arrows. Sparkledingle cast Glitterdust and Fenrir surrounded them with a Wall of Flame.

The half-bloods did not stand much of a chance and those that did not turn and flee through the flames were cut into pieces by Dak or blasted to death by Fenrir.

Moving on they found a barrack room with multiple bunks and foot lockers. They looted the lockers and went through to an area of guest rooms. These were dusty from lack of use, but they still opened up all the wardrobes and chests and took anything of value.

As they went up the ramp to the next level Fenrir cast Wall of Flame behind them to act as a block to anyone coming up behind them. The whole fortress was beginning to fill with smoke from all the fires he had been setting.

They entered a massive chamber, the largest they had seen in the citadel so far.  Multiple serpentine statues stood in niches along the north and south walls, and the room was crossed with two rows of big pillars. In the centre of the chamber stood a three-tiered ziggurat of black marble. 

Sparkledingle went to take a look at it. It seemed to radiate an aura of dread so he left it alone for now.

The went back down a level and looked a narrow set of stairs to the west. It was guarded by two lizardmen but Fenrir made short work of them. When he went to  look at the chamber (it was in the middle of the central tower) at the end of the stairs he saw a small dragon come flying out. It said , "Help me! Don't let them catch me again!"

This was just a ruse though and it flew into the large chamber and Dak attacked it, leaping into the air to get at it. He managed to grab the beast and they plunged down over the balcony into the hall were the skeletal dinosaur had been. They were both alive and wrestled on the ground for a bit until Dak managed to untangle himself, grab his falchion and chop its head off.

Friday, 15 March 2024

(G549 10/02/2024 via Roll20 - JF(GM), KT, AL) YI17

 


(G549 10/02/2024 via Roll20 - JF(GM), KT, AL) YI17


[Fenrir, Giselle, Corhim and Dak have set off for to find the Fortress of the Yaun-ti. They are currently causing trouble in a tavern in Pedestal, a city in the Underdark.]

DAY 620 (13th Uktar) (November) cont ...

The lich that sat alone at the bar had warned them not to burn his "local" down, but they still wanted to do over the place as part of the deal they had done with Es Sarch.

To begin with Dak ransacked the till and gave out the money (about 70 gold) to the servants with an additional 50 gold each from his own pocket. The servants then scampered off.

Fenrir's vision was coming back so they headed into the sleeping and storage areas of the inn that lay further back from the tavern area.

There were all sorts of beings back here, looking out of their doors or hovering around in the corridors, wondering what all the commotion had been in the tavern.

There were orcs, kobolds, ogres and other odd looking humanoids, but not the "armed and dangerous" types, more like traders, crafters and the like.

Dak shouted for their attention then cried in Orcish, 'there has been a kerfuffle!'

When he got a bunch of baffled looks he tried again in Common.

Some understood that, and Fenrir could hear them talking in Underdark with his magical ability to understand any language. Some of the people began to leave, but most did not.

Dak tried to get them moving but was not successful. Fenrir tried too;

'There has been a kerfuffle! Please evacuate the building!'

The inn patrons either did not understand or decided not to move. Dak went and got the skull from the tavern and then threw in on the floor. Even then they didn't move so Fenrir walked past them all to the rear of the inn where some large barrels were stored. He blasted at them with a fire-enriched eldritch blast.

The barrels all exploded in a massive fireball, shaking the inn to its foundations and knocking people off their feet. Fenrir was pushed back by the blast and Giselle was struck on the head by a falling beam. Everyone was very anxious to leave the tavern after that! 

As smoke billowed all around them they left through the door they had come in. The lich was putting bottles into his bag at the bar and swore at them colourfully as they left. 

They went back to the Dripstone Inn and lay low for a while, taking a rest in one of the better rooms.

Es Sarch seemed happy enough with his rival tavern, the Friendly Fish, being blown to bits, but was just as happy to get rid of them as soon as possible.

'I'll get a guide for you tonight,' he said in his whispery voice. 'Then you can go first thing in the morning.'


DAY 621 (14th Uktar) (November)

As promised a sullen servant of Sarch took them through some secret tunnels under the magical barrier and into the Necromancer's Spike area.

The wee kobold then scarpered back home.

The Spike was deserted, and after carefully heading up through its chambers they found what they were looking for. A "snake gate", a type of portal created by the yuan-ti. These are usually temporary, but not always.

They entered the portal one after the other, and each in turn discovered that the portal was one-way and that there was no way back to the Spike from where they had arrived.

They found themselves stood on a small rise. Before them lay a wide river valley nestled between a range of forested hills. They could see a number of wooden buildings, mostly storage sheds, set in a rough semi-circle in the hollow of the vale. A shallow stream flowed through the area. Although isolated it looked like a typical small farming community.

Looming over it however, was a sight that belied the mundane appearance of the vale. Recessed into a west-facing cliff was a massive fortress of dark stone, deeply shadowed  by the hollow in which it stood. They could make out few details, but even from where they stood, they could see it was a citadel arranged with protrusions and towers unlike any fortress they had ever seen.

The settlement's crops appeared to be mostly wheat, tall stalks rippling in the breeze. 

They saw numerous humans and halflings working the fields, but as they approached, they could see that their torn clothes were as filthy as their faces. Their features and eyes seemed bereft of hope.

Once inside the small village they saw a naga know as Leith the Taskmaster beating some humans, while a giant snake watched from its place coiled around a well.

Dak approached the scene and asked, 'hey, what's going on?'

Leith replied by hurling a magical Lightning Bolt at him that hit Dak and also Corhim who was stood quite far back, but who was in line of effect of the spell. Corhim fell to the ground, badly injured.

Dak charged at the snake and chopped it to bits while Fenrir flew up and blasted Leith to death. When Corhim was healed and woken up he saw that he had a scar on his left hand where the lightning had struck him.

With Leith defeated a group of slaves timidly approached them. Their apparent leader, a middle-aged woman named Clara spoke for the group. She told them:

''

The castle is called Serastis - a horrible place inhabited by hideous snake-folk. Some are almost human, while others are like giant serpents with hands. Gods only know what they do in there. Only a few of us are native to these lands, for the snake-folk are careful not too attract the attention of the closer villages. Most of our number were captured on the road or in distant settlements, brought here to serve the masters of the castle. We toil so that they might eat and keep warm. Those who take sick or become  too weak for labouring are taken to the castle and never seen again.

There has been much activity in Serastis over the past few months. Many more groups of snake-folk go in and out than usual.

''


About fifty people lived in the village and Corhim suggested giving them food from the magic Provisions Box. The slaves were hungry and very glad of it. After that they looked over Leith, who was a naga. Sparkledingle fancied himself as the brains of the group but he was jealous of Giselle and her bardic knowledge. They discussed the facts around nagas and Corhim was glad that, this time, he seemed to know more than Giselle.

After that the headed towards the fortress. More details of the castle's bizarre structure become clear as they approached, though its exteriors remained shrouded in layers of shadow.

The central keep boasted a balcony near the top, adorned with serpentine figures. Great stone steps some 20 feet wide lead up to a pair of brass doors on the second level of the keep. There was no means of entry on the first level. A single tower adorned with serpentine waterspouts was connected to the central keep by a diagonal arm of stone. It jutted upward, blocking part of their view of the cliff face above the hollow. Two wider towers hung down from the top of the hollow like fangs in a great stone mouth.

They climbed the stairs to the main entrance and approached the doors. Their detail became visible in the shadows. Both brass portals were covered in hideous engravings of demonic serpentine figures.

Fenrir used his ring of knock to throw open the doors.

The entered an enormous hall, in which there was a massive reptilian skeleton. Lurking behind it was a half-elf. The skeleton came to life and charged at them, but Dak leapt at it with his falchion and slashed it to bits in moments, bones flying everywhere.

The half-elf had no time to react before he too was destroyed, this time from one of Fenrir's blasts.

They moved on to the dining hall, a long room with several tables, then on into the kitchen. There were six lizardfolk guards here, but they were quickly slain by Dak and Fenrir by their usual methods.

They explored more of this level of the castle, a meeting hall, a torture chamber and then a sort of shrine. Inside was a lizardman cleric who made no threatening move towards them.

'Speak or die, foul creature!' demanded Dak.

'I am Chavakurh, a shaman of the Dark Talon tribe,' said Chavakurh. 'I serve Sertrous, master of all.'

'Oh right.'

'If you are strong and bold, I may have a proposition for you.'

Dak turned round to talk to the others, perhaps thinking to strike a deal, but then from far back down the corridor Fenrir blasted the lizardman sending him sprawling to the floor dead.

'Hey, I was about to...' said Dak.

'Moving on!' interrupted Fenrir.

They discovered a ramp leading to the lower levels and where some prisoners were being held in individual cells. The set free some humans, a halfling, a dwarf and an elf. An orc warrior they released said he wanted to join them in their fight. His name was Thoburk.

The dwarf Daverov said he would reward them and promised to drop off 200 gold to each of them at the OJB in Waterdeep.

Also in this area was a giant rubbish pit, so stinking that it made their  eyes water. Corhim was sick for several minutes.

Avoiding the pit they explored some of the other rooms. They were storage rooms, will all sorts of supplies stacked on their shelves. They gave some of the food to Thoburk along with a weapon and some armour.

While they were doing that, an otyugh came out of the pit. It was of no threat to them though and Fenrir knocked it back in again with an Eldritch Blast.

Sunday, 3 March 2024

Karma Kingdom - Beta 1.0 b210

 Karma Kingdom - Beta 1.0 b210



Latest updates:

- FIXED BUG #301 - pay someone to dig is an infinite money loop so need to limit it in some way (Fix: now also uses Water)
- FIXED BUG #302 - check LEG ITEMS - don’t seem to work. Cant put on??? No tags??
- FIXED BUG #304 - big cat site no longer active. Set to now Get 10 Bamboo staves
- FIXED BUG #305 - need to finish off the items and item slots, its not working for some. So do at least one of each and test
- FIXED BUG #306 - You gain 1 additional edu points due to your ability in Divinity!)
- FIXED BUG #307 - Dominion spell doesn’t cast
- FIXED BUG #308 - check all links, diamond necklace dead? Also was the rain orb the disabled colour?
- FIXED BUG #309 - bamboo houses need to go on infrastructure tab
- FIXED BUG #310 - some disabled clicks still count towards total Curr Score. And Karma I think
- IDEA #309 - new avatar page.
- IDEA #328 - more info when using shrines - what was donated and how much remains etc
- Added Spell - Skrying (from random MTG card - 'Interpret the Signs')(Currently does nothing!)
- Added Spell - Unstable Land (from random MTG card - 'Terramorphic Expanse')
- Can now use: Scroll: Cure Critical Wounds. Scroll: Cure Light Wounds. Scroll: Heal.

~~~~

Want to do something to help the planet?

Really keen to help out with everything going wrong in the world, but don't know where to start?

Well, you do a little to help the planet and other great causes right now, completely free by playing the game Karma Kingdom!

How it works:

When you play the game you gather resources for your kingdom by navigating to other charity click sites and pressing their 'click to donate' buttons.

With these resources you can then build your kingdom. As it grows the kingdom comes to represent your contribution too good causes all over the world, not just the climate, but refugees, animals, breast cancer, autism, veterans and many more.

The list of charities are regularly updated.

Karma Kingdom also keep a track of the estimated value of your clicks and how much CO2 you have helped remove from the atmosphere.

Start Playing here:

http://roztov.epizy.com/stw/generate.html

Thursday, 22 February 2024

(G548 20/01/2024 via Roll20 - JF, KT, AP(GM), AD) YI-B3


 

 (G548 20/01/2024 via Roll20 - JF, KT, AP(GM), AD) YI-B3

[Myself (Rollo), Reinward and Fang have teleported from Yag Island to a mysterious dungeon on a quest to find the "Stone of the Sparkledingles" that Felia our resident magical shopkeeper wants us to find. We are currently in the dungeon having recently defeated a giant spider and some Otyughs.]

DAY 620  (13th Uktar) (November) cont ...

After slaying all the Otyughs, we got back to our exploration of all the rooms and twisting corridors. As ever we avoided opening doors that had the buzzing sounds of Hell Wasps behind them. I had new spells ready for today that I hoped would be able to handle them, but I was merely following and not leading this expedition and left it to the other two as to what door was opened and what was not.

As we worked our way further into the eastern parts of the dungeon it seemed to be that buzzing was coming from every doorway so we doubled back into a less 'waspy' area and explored more to the south.

We were back in the giant spider area and we discovered another one, not as big as the first, and no more intelligent so we defeated it with the same "crocodile and daggers" method.

After the combat, as I usually did if time permitted, I gathered some interesting spider parts for later study.

On we went. More random nonsense scrawled on the walls, more traps and more seemingly random corridors, doors and portcullis.

Eventually we came to a chamber that contained six eight-legged lizards - basilisks. This was new! They were no less aggressive then anything else we had met so far though. Fang charged in, Reinward tumbled in and I sent in the crocodiles. I did think that Fang was rather careless and although we warned him he almost deliberately was looking them all in the eye - as if daring them to turn him into stone! Or maybe he just wanted to know what it felt like. It happened to me once, and I can't say I would recommend it.

He managed to resist them though and soon they were all dead. I stuffed the least chopped up one into my Bag of Holding for later study.

We continued cautiously. More doors, more traps, more corridors. Finally we came to another room full of Otyughs. Where were they all coming from? There were lots of them here, fourteen I think. Fang had been wanting to see my use Flame Strike so I did that before anything else and incinerated a bunch of them. We then finished off the others by the usual method.

By now we were covered in filth and ichor again from all the fighting and searching through remains. I was used to that sort of thing, being a seasoned adventurer and all that but I was wondering if this Stone of the Sparkledingles existed at all and if this wasn't just a  wild goose chase?

Wednesday, 21 February 2024

Sepa Island [DRAFT]

 



Sepa Island

Back in the summer of 2019, our holiday was a real adventure. Planned out meticulously by my wife, we spent two days in Dubai before heading to Indonesia, where the highlights of our stay there was a visit to the Thousand Islands and later a train trip to Jogjakarta. We really blew the budget in 2019. Little did we know we wouldn’t be back until 2022.

This story will focus on our trip to Sepa Island.

The Thousand Islands (known locally as “Kepulauan Seribu”) are a group of islands just north of Jakarta, the capital city of Indonesia, situated on the populous island of Java. If you care to look it up, you will discover that there are actually only 342 islands and only 11 of them are given over to tourism.

That was where we had decided we were going to spend the next few days. I should point out at this stage that my wife is Indonesian, our three children are mixed Indonesian / Scottish and in this year they were aged 11, 10 and 6. This was our golden age for travelling with kids, where everything was at children’s prices, and their combined cuteness was at its zenith.

We were destined for the Sepa Island Resort. Google it if you dare, it is still doing business at the time of writing and still looks incredible, a vision of paradise that brings back happy memories as I write this on a storm wracked December night in the Galloway hills five years later.

Our journey began in Ciputat, a district in southern Jakarta. Our driver, whom I lovingly referred to as “Deathwish Ricky” picked us up in the morning and drove us at breakneck speed along the toll way to where we would ultimately get on the boat. I sat in the front, Ida was in the back seat with the younger ones so she could keep an eye on them and my eldest was in the rearmost seat with his grandmother (or eyang).

We arrived in plenty of time, and everyone except me had breakfast at the pleasant dockside cafe. I had a notion that the boat ride would be at least an hour and did not trust my innards on a vessel that likely didn’t have a toilet onboard. While we waited the kids played with some friendly stray cats that they named Wacky Blacky and Turtle-top. There are stray cats in every street in Indonesia, semi-feral fellows that are tolerated by the locals. At Eyang’s house back in Ciputat the street is full of them. Each house has a concrete bin outside it and each bin has a cat associated with it. Most of the cats are shy of humans though and I could never pet any of them, but these dockside moggies were friendlier, perhaps being used to tourists.

Eventually the boat arrived. It looked like a seagoing version of a tourist riverboat. The trip was about an hour and a half and quite up-and-down in places. I am a salty old sea dog, but even my stomach felt a bit wobbly after a while. It was hot and cramped inside the boat with the other tourists and there were only small sliding windows that could be opened a few inches. Not a good place for anyone with claustrophobia.

Wendy, my little daughter, was the one to watch, being prone to travel sickness. Bless her, she held it in until nearly the end, but then was violently, explosively sick all over herself and the seat. We were well used to dealing with the contents of Wendy’s stomach though and the clean-up crew leapt swiftly into action, and everything was cleaned up and bagged quickly and efficiently.

And then we were there! The boat drew alongside the wooden pier, and we disembarked.

We walked along the sun-bleached planks and down onto the scorching sand, an area of tame-looking jungle directly in front of us. Through the trees I could see the buildings of the resort. This was it, I thought, I have set foot on my first ever tropical island. And yet, now that I was finally here, in my sun hat and flipflops, there was a slight tinge of disappointment.

Did you ever look at a tropical island somewhere remote and wish you were there? A travel show presenter strolling down a pristine white sandy beach next to an azure sea. An air-brushed perfect view of paradise. We see a colour-saturated high-definition version of reality.

I think - if you’ve flown across the world, spent the money, taken the mad car journey and the vomity boat ride - when you finally arrive, well the reality is never going to live up to the image of a paradise island you have held in your head all your life.

You forget that although it looks like in the travel documentaries you’ve watched, it still has the bins, the clutter, and the unpleasant smells that are all associated with any touristy place in Indonesia. It’s still not quite perfect. Was there something wrong with me that I was still not quite happy when presented with an island paradise? Perhaps part of it was that at that moment I was just tired and hungry and in need of a lie down in a cool, dark room. It wasn’t to be, at least not yet and we toddled off to our beach house and unpacked, then headed to the restaurant.

It was a self-service buffet and I loaded up my plate. Basic food, not great. The restaurant had shaded wooden tables outside, down by the beach, a great place to hang out and take in the sight, sounds and smells of the sea. We ate, drank cold Cokes and Fantas, and relaxed. The children were too excited to sit for long though, so we set off to explore the island.

We started along the beach, but in less than fifty steps it was all blocked off by rocks. There was an enticing looking path going off into the jungle, and although I was aware it led to the staff areas that it would be impolite to go into, I wanted to at least feel a sort of jungle adventure sensation for a moment and delved into the leafy shadows. The children were scared and called out, that I might get accosted by snakes and spiders or something, so I turned back after no more than a few metres.

After going along the beach in the other direction I realised that the island was tiny, barely three hundred metres from side to side. I’d not be having any long walks here. The kids were having the time of their life though. Ida rented a kayak, and I took them out into the ocean. We looked down through the crystal-clear water at the spikey anemones below us.

In the evening, we had dinner, and located Eyang who has been talking to two young local girls in bikinis. The seemed to adore Eyang and when they saw Wendy, they are captivated by her and went to the island shop to buy her treats. Wendy received these gifts like a queen receiving her tribute.

The next day Ida had us all awake at seven in the morning to be picked up by a small boat by eight. We were taken a good distance north of Sepa Island to a remoter part of the archipelago. Today, the boys and I would be snorkelling while Ida, Wendy and Eyang remained on the boat. Wendy was to catch a fish for the boatman’s tea.

We were miles away from Sepa, in a shallow area of sea between some other small uninhabited islands. We swam through the rocks and reefs, the guide leading the way, while the boys, both excellent swimmers, followed along, taking in everything. I brought up the rear, watching they boys having fun as much as I watched the fish. Enjoying their enjoyment as much as my own.

It was a wonderful experience, but again, it’s not the high-definition, or slow motion and carefully curated experience that my mind expects from watching so many wildlife documentaries. It is murky when you dive down, the fish, those amazing fish, are all there, but their colours are muted, dulled by the tinted glass of my facemask. In other ways though the experience is, of course, beyond anything a television could give you. The warm water on our bodies, the taste of the sea, the tightness of our lungs as we dive down into the rocks to take a closer look at the coral and the colourful fish that lived there. We follow a turtle as it swims leisurely along the sandy sea bottom, gliding between the rocks, and then, on the way back to the boat after a good two hours in the sea we come across a sunfish (or a Mola Mola), and watch in awe as its huge square body cruises slowly past.

When we get back to the boat, I see that Wendy has caught a small fish on her line and is dipping it in and out of the water as the boatman laughs and smiles at her. Fly, fishy, fly, she says gleefully. I beg them to let the poor thing off the hook and put it back in the water. Ida tells me that it was fish number ten that had suffered the same fate!

With the snorkelling finished, the small boat putt-putted its way further out into the sea, weaving between small distant islands until the sea was so shallow, we could hop out and walk. We were in an area between two islands where the water was barely knee deep. It felt as warm as bathwater and although the sun was hot, there was a light breeze as we walked through the shallows, the children running and splashing while we adults follow, taking photos and marvelling at where we have managed to find ourselves.

Apart from us and the boat there were no other signs of civilisation other than something off in the hazy distance that looked like a fishing jetty. I watched as our boat cruised slowly past the jetty and I felt a connection to this place, a sense of belonging, if only through my family, of times gone by when these seas were travelled by djongs and junks, of traders from the west arriving on these shores and explorers heading out further east in outriggers in search of the unknown.

I was finally getting it, that tropical paradise feeling that I had been hoping for. We walked between the islands, through half a mile of shallow sea, out to a sandbar surrounded by waters on all sides. The hazy air muted the distant green colours of the islands and accentuated the blueness of the sea and sky. The sand was white and pure, and so hot on the toes it was better to stay in the water. The children loved the beach, any beach and this was endless beach in all directions. The perfect beach, and they were at the perfect age to appreciate it the most as they raced, swam, and splashed through this world of half sea, half sand. Eyang walked behind them, her ankle length black dress billowing behind her as she glid through the water. Ida is somewhere behind us taking photos, recording this wonderful day in pictures that will never do it justice and I suddenly feel sad in the knowledge that this day will never come again. We could come back here some other time years from now, but not with our young family in this golden moment of perfect childhood. The feeling passes and I get back to enjoying the rest of the day, wading, and walking from sea to sandbar and back to sea. 

But wait, what’s that in the sand? A bloody food wrapper! I picked it up and read the bright orange packet. Malkist – Krim – Keju Manis. (Sweet Cream Cheese Crackers) This sudden intruder from the modern world is unwanted and I discreetly fold it up and put it in the pocket of my shorts.

The boat had been following us all this time at a distance, in deeper waters and once everyone had had enough it came in to pick us up and take us back to Sepa. Back on the island my stomach was not happy, probably due to the restaurant food, so the next day I mainly lay in the shade on a large wooden sun lounger, sometimes reading but mainly dozing, watching the children play in the sea through the smallest of cracks between my eyelashes. I listened to Ida and Eyang talking in Bahasa, exchanging gossip while they ate and drank. When they go silent, I know they are on their phones.

This is one of my most cherished memories and if I ever have trouble sleeping, which is rarely, I imagine I am here again, dozing on that lounger, feeling the warm air on my skin, listening to the gentle lapping of the waves and the sounds of distant laughing children.

We do not spend nearly enough time on Sepa, and it is not long before we on the ferry back to Jakarta. Still, another adventure in Jogjakarta awaits! Bankrupt but happy.