Friday, 22 January 2021
(G435 02/01/2021 via Roll20 - AP, JF(GM)) WA77
[Now to return to Fenrir and his fine friends who had just obliterated a pirate base on Hammerhead Island and although they had not found their target - Hrarnok Sharkchum, they were confident he could not be far away.]
DAY 491 (6th Flamerule)(July) cont ...
From the dead bodies that littered the pirate caves, Veddic raised 16 skeletons and stuffed them all into his Bag of Holding. It was starting to get a little crowded in there.
Meanwhile Fenrir went scouting, flying across the island, while invisible, to take a look at the town. Built almost entirely out of wood, it was an impressive size for a town that serviced (Fenrir assumed) only pirate ships.
He saw a group of people down at the docks and a man that looked like a Harbourmaster, but it was not Sharkchum. He then flew around until he spotted a building that looked like the finest dwelling in the town - like an island Governor's mansion. Built of wood is sprawled across a large, palm tree shaded, compound. It was heavily guarded too, with a dozen men at the gates and main door.
While Raz and Veddic walked along the forest path to the town, Fenrir entered the mansion garden and looked through some windows.
In the living room he saw three men. One was large, hairy and richly dressed. Another looked like a cleric of Umberlee and another was ever bigger than the first, and less hairy.
There was also a woman dressed as a tart, whom was addressed as 'Blamange'.
Fenrir called, 'Sharkchum's a poofter!' from outside the window. The biggest man went to it and looked out.
'What do you see, Tunny?' asked the other.
Suddenly a pirate called Carver, who Fenrir recognised from the caves, burst through the doors, yelling, 'we are attacked! The caves are being attacked by wizards and barbarians!'
'This isn't like last time when you were all drunk and thought a kraken was in the caves and it turned out just to be a fat seal?'
'No my lord!' pleaded Carver, 'Many are dead already! They killed Jonas and Kid Wombat and the Wedding Killer, oh and Little Jimmy Kidneys!'
The cleric left, going to his temple. The other two men went to nearby armour stands and started strapping on their fullplate armour.
Fenrir, thinking it would be a good idea to fight them before they were ready, burst through the window and attacked. Sharkchum and Tunny were not pushovers though, they turned into their hybrid wereshark forms and as the battle continued, they cased Fenrir into the hall and backed him into an alcove under the stairs.
Fenrir killed many of the wereshark guards as they entered the hall in waves, using blasts of his Eldritch Cone to sweep the area, sending blood and guts everywhere. Somewhere in the melee, Blamange was also killed.
Next to fall was Tunny. Although they were landing telling blows on Fenrir and he was badly injured, he was still able to use his Eldritch magic. Sharkchum kept at him, but was taken down by a Painful Slumber spell. Three minutes later Veddic and Raz turned up, stepping carefully over the piles of bodies that littered the smoking ruin of the main hall of the mansion.
They decided to leave, and Sharkchum was bundled onto the carpet with Veddic while Fenrir and Raz used Wind Walk. They flew west for five miles, but looking east they could see that they were being followed. Four manticores slowly gained on them, but when Fenrir turned back and killed one, the others flew off.
An hour later they saw sails to the east, three ships. They flew up into the clouds and hid for a while, and when they descended to take a look around they saw that the ships were now directly below them.
Fenrir took the Bag of Holding with the barrels of oil in it and headed down, staying invisible. He then firebombed the ships, setting the sails and decks on fire and sending the sailors scurrying to the pumps. Some return shots were fired, but nothing hit.
Fenrir turned invisible and they headed back into the clouds. Hours later, after flying north, they found a small island, not much more than a lump of sand half a mile across with a few palms on it. Here they landed, surprising a group of puffins that nested in the rocks on the shore.
It was noon though, so they didn't stop, but flew on and after another six miles they found another island similar to the first.
At two o'clock they made camp in the centre of the island, using the sixteen skeletons as guards.
Fenrir tied Sharkchum and then woke him up.
'You seem to have me at a disadvantage gentleman,' said Sharkchum who was apparently well spoken.
Fenrir talked, and threatened, but did not break through Sharkchum's calm demeanour. When he started stabbing the pirate though, Sharkchum took action, turning into a shark so that his bonds fell loose. Fenrir started kicking the shark, and instructed the others to do the same.
I find it hard to imagine the scene to be honest. Three grown men kicking a shark to death. Fenrir stopped. 'Oh, is he dead?' he wondered.
Veddic checked, and amazingly Sharkchum still lived. He healed him then cast 'Charm Person', poor old Veddic once again suddenly remembering he had a spell that would have been useful at the start - and would have at least have saved him the indignity of kicking in a defenseless sea creature!
Sharkchum turned back into a man and greeted his new friend. He still did not like the look of Fenrir and Raz though and started to back off out of the camp. Veddic may have used a Charm spell, but he was not as diplomatic as Fenrir and his simple threats had little effect.
Sharkchum was charmed, but he was not stupid. He ran for the seaside.
Fenrir decided to hit him with everything and channeled all his magic into a blast that literally blew the pirate to bits.
'Oh,' mused Fenrir, as they picked through the pirate lumps for clues. 'I thought he would survive that.'
Luckily for them (very luckily!) they found a scorched and bloodstained letter that was addressed to 'Blackthorn, druid of Silvanus'.
It was now five in the evening. Two ships were seen in the south, heading for the island. Somehow they were being tracked. Fenrir went to take a look, they seemed to be burnt up, but still seaworthy.
Back at the island they put the skeletons back in the bag, then flew for a while (Veddic had no more Wind Walk spells). Once it was dark, they unfolded the magic boat and spent the night on it.
They were untroubled by pirates, manticores or anything else so perhaps it had been only Sharkchum that had been tracked.
Thursday, 21 January 2021
(G434 26/12/2020 via Roll20 - AP(GM), JF) LR30
DAY 516 (1st Eleasis) (August) cont ...
Later in the evening me and Lavinia went to the pub (a place called 'The Wolf and Cat' to hopefully flush all my worries away in regards to the handover of Midpoint Island to the Confluence.
'The Wolf' is a large place and there were quite a few people in the main room. There is a stage and piano there so once it became free I played on it for a while.
A fat idiot called Brian went over to talk to Lavinia and didn't go away when I returned. I was still feeling out of sorts regarding recent events and not particularly interested in turning a drunk into a frog or something, despite how rude he was being to everyone, so I ordered a bottle of brandy and matched him drink for drink until he was sick and taken away. We then switched tables.
Later on a local merchant who knew Lavinia a little came to talk to us. His name was Ilde Balderk. We talked for a while and he told us that he needed someone to go along the coast and check on his friend Durgen Hillstone. Since I can fly, we volunteered to go to Hillstone's house in the morning.
DAY 517 (2nd Eleasis) (August)
It is maybe a days walk to Hillstone's house on the coast to the east of Westgate, but it does not take long as the giant owl flies.
I noticed an area of dead trees on the road, and black tarry substances bubbling. It is only now that I write this that I realise what it was that I saw, but at the time it was far below me.
The house appeared unmolested, but quiet. A large single-storey villa situated in a nice secluded spot not far from the sea. I knocked on the door, but there was no answer. I gently opened the door.
Leaving Lavinia outside to keep watch I ventured into the house. The first room I came to was a living room. The walls and floor were made of solid oak. The room smelled of mould and the fireplace was cold. The furniture was covered in a thin film of sticky goo, like slug trails. The bottoms of the doors were worn, almost corroded in appearance.
The next room was a dining room, where it looked like a meal had been eaten in a hurry. The silverware was corroded and there were signs of a struggle.
The next room, down a corridor, was a bedroom and I was attacked by three Ochre Jellies. These are large yellow slimes, dangerous in large numbers, but not the worst of slimes to combat. I summoned a load of crocodiles into the room and stepped out. The Jellies did not last long.
I walked past the kitchen and searched more rooms. I searched three more bedrooms, which all had en-suite bathrooms and which each contained a Black Pudding. There are much larger and nastier than Ochre Jellies, but again, they could not defeat wave after wave of summoned crocodiles.
It made a right mess of the rooms, but these abominations are best destroyed.
In the library and some of the other rooms I discovered letters and other papers that painted a picture of a money making scheme gone very wrong. It appeared Hillstone had been trying to make gems with a 'magical crystal'. Somewhere down the line though he had ended up with a house full of deadly slimes. It took a few magical scrolls and other things, considering it fair game as Hillstone wouldn't be needing them.
There was only one place left to check. The cellar. I got Lavinia to come inside while I went down the ladder to take a look.
Wednesday, 20 January 2021
(G433 05/12/2020 via Roll20 - AP, JF(GM)) WA76
DAY 491 (6th Flamerule)(July) cont ...
Fenrir fired the first shot in the battle with the pirates. As Raz and Veddic came in on the flying carpet he blasted away at the sailors as they scrambled back into the caves to prepare their defences.
Once the other two had landed, Fenrir had already repelled the first counter-attack of crossbows and what he took to be summoned spectres.
One of the pirates used a wand of fireballs on them, but was quickly defeated. Realising they were being soundly beaten someone from within the caves shouted;
'Release the Slaughter Sharks!'
These turned out to be giant floating skeletal sharks and did prove to be quite difficult to fight, but between the three of them it was not long before the cave they were fighting in was full of broken shark bones and dead pirates.
Another pirate released a room full of octopus-headed zombies, but these were easily defeated. The rest of the pirates fled the caves through an entrance that lead out into the forests of the island.
Fenrir, Veddic and Raz continued slowly inwards, and encountered some unusual characters. They were not threatening and Fenrir initially tried to talk to them.
'Don't go near Fireman!' said one of them. Fenrir ignored this warning and approached the red-skinned man known as 'Fireman'.
The man exploded and the other two pirates in the room were killed. Fenrir and the others were barely scratched, heavily armoured and enchanted as they were.
They reached the entrance and could see the rest of the fleeing pirates, going in all directions, but mainly across the island to the town. Two boys watched them warily from behind a stone monolith.
Fenrir and the others then turned and went back into the caves to strip it of treasure and check some of the side passages they had missed. In one room they found two prisoners, guarded by a female pirate who was happy to leave quickly in exchange for her life.
The prisoners introduced themselves as Lord Sanchez and Lady Vasquez.
Fenrir wondered where Sharkchum could be. He didn't seem to be in his ship or the caves they had just searched.
Tuesday, 19 January 2021
(G432 28/11/2020 via Roll20 - AP(GM), JF) LR29
(G432 28/11/2020 via Roll20 - AP(GM), JF) LR29
DAY 513 (29th Flamerule) (July) cont ...
Rolled in drunk back at the Vanderboren Manor, and pretty much loafed about for the rest of the day, discussing our plans loudly, with arms waving in the air.
Lavinia is in good spirits, revitalised by being back at home. The Manor has been well looked after while we were away. We were let in by a faithful old servant who was pleased to see the lady of the house return.
We discussed the Pie Shop, the Sea Wyvern and the Blue Nixie. The Wyvern is somewhere around, but the Nixie had just arrived in port. It had been trading up and down the coast and earned 20,000 gold which was nice.
Eventually we dosed off in the day room, then got up and went to bed.
DAY 514 (30th Flamerule) (July)
Taeghen Calaudra, our sun elf baker, has really been expanding the Pie Shop.
Bhula Jalamba, our butcher, helps, but Taeghen is the brains of the operation.
Rita, the ex-Lotus Dragon mercenary is still there, acting as a guard.
Taeghen has remodelled the place a fair bit and expanded it. There is a tea room now, attached to the place, where he sells his fancy pastries to old ladies in big hats.
He told us that Nobby popped in not so long ago to pick up 200 pies to help provision the Sea Wyvern on another run out to Farshore.
Oh, and Shifty did come back! As he had said he would, and sold his stake to Taeghen (for a pittance of 800gp). Last he heard, Shifty was now a drunk in the gutter in Sasserine. I wonder if that's true though. To be honest I'd rather not run into him again.
I asked how much a one-third share of the business was worth now and he said 300,000 gold as there are now six shops in the city! That cannot possibly be true though. He also wants to re-brand from 'The Pie Shop' to 'Sunbucks'.
I'll just let him get on with it.
Well, over cups of tea and elven scones me and Lavinia decided that Sasserine was probably the best place to raise a baby, considering we had a Manor to live in and a thriving business.
Turning in now, time to blow out the candle. I suppose it is good to be back.
It's good to feel at home in a place, but I think I will miss my family.
And my friends, Jiggles, Irritator and even that idiot Fenrir.
Well, Rolanda and Molly are here, and while good company, its nice to have someone to go to the pub with, or even an adventure or two.
DAY 515 (Fest Lathander) (July)
Nice as Sasserine is at this time of year, I had a big weight on my shoulders that I felt that now - urgently - I needed to get rid of.
Useful as a hidden island is that can be used to teleport anywhere, the cons far out-weighed the pros. Nobody but me could stand the place, it was haunted, a prison for much of the unspeakable evil of Faerune.
Even if I could get past that, and use the place as a sort of depot or hidey-hole, it would still be incredible selfish. What really needed to happen was for it to disappear and never be heard from again. A druid flying back and forth to it would only lead to more trouble.
I had a plan. I teleported to Waterdeep (500 gold to a wizard) and then flew out to Midpoint Island one last time. The fleets were there, but greatly reduced as they were now essentially guarding nothing.
I entered the 'pocket dimension' of the island, found Alfred and talked to him.
As I expected, he was only concerned for the safety and sanctity of the Island.
He cared for nothing else. I could see that any idea I had of colonising this place, or even using it as a lair was foolish.
The Island needed a new Warden. Not a human, but someone long-lived, patient and used to solitude. I teleported back to Waterdeep.
At eight o'clock I went to House Tesper and gained access to Lady Tesper.
We talked for a long time and I told her of the island.
'You are the young man who has involved himself in that whole island situation.'
She knew of me.
'Yes,' I admitted, then went on to tell her the whole story. I ended by saying,
'Do you know of any dragons that would be willing to take over as Warden? I think it would more suit a dragon - to be honest - than a human. When it comes to looking after an island of unspeakable evil, I mean.'
She agreed, and said she would contact me at the OJB later if she found a suitable candidate.
In the evening I went out to the pub with Corum and got pretty drunk. I was somber though, with the weight of the decision I was making. I admit that I went to see the genies to cheer myself up.
DAY 516 (Eleasis) (August)
After breakfast I left word at the OJB and returned to the Singing Sword to get back to being drunk.
A young man arrived and introduced himself as 'Steelheart'. He was one of the dragons of Waterdeep that go about disguised as men. He was of the Confluence, having been sent by Lady Tesper.
We flew out to the island together. I showed him about and introduced him to Alfred. Steelheart decided he wanted to become the new Warden and so he and Alfred went into the caves to get the tests ready.
'You sure about this then?' I asked the young dragon.
'This is a vast responsibility,' he replied. 'The Confluence want to do it, I mean, I want to do it too of course.'
He went into the caves, which gave me plenty of spare hours to be crushed with doubt and regret. Would the Confluence take care of this place? Would they use it for their own purposes? However good the intentions, the place was best left alone as much as possible.
It was too late though, I had made my decision and much as it tormented me it was really the only one I could have made. I am just a man, I have a life to live. I can't dedicate the rest of it to doing something that would be much better done by a group of long-lived, sensible (as far as I know anyway) and powerful dragons.
Once it was done I could tell they wanted me to leave. I was furious, but I never said anything. After all - it had been me that had save the Island (and probably the world) and it had been me that had handed it over to this dopey looking dragon!
Treasure or curse, it remained to been seen, but they now possessed something of tremendous power.
'Good Luck,' I mumbled as I stepped into the teleporter. 'Bye.'
And that was that.
'That's that sorted,' I told Lavinia, grimly, on my return.
'Aww,' she said as she rubbed my back. 'Cup of tea?'
Monday, 18 January 2021
(G431 21/11/2020 via Roll20 - AP, JF(GM)) WA75
(G431 21/11/2020 via Roll20 - AP, JF(GM)) WA75
[And now to return once more to Fenrir and his campaign against the Vampires of Westgate.]
DAY 487 (2nd Flamerule)(july)
Today Fenrir went to work, and sat at his desk thinking about Nexelmode and the likelyhood that she was having his baby. He met with Veddic and got him to use a Sending Spell to contact her.
His message was:
"
Greetings Nexelmode. Fenrir here. Hope all is well. Ive been having odd dreams involving you, and wondered if all is normal. Not up the duff?
"
The reply came shortly:
""
I am the mother of the moon
sister of the stars
mother of the light in your eyes
I am powerful
Round with embryonic inherent
""
The reply was cryptic, but certainly seemed to suggest that what Fenrir suspected was true. He thought of going to visit her, but to what purpose? To slay her?
He decided to concentrate on work for today instead and put such unpleasant wonderings to one side for now. News reached him today concerning the 'The Knip Tanps Banditos'.
Some low level Night Mask's had been killed and the calling card of the Knips has been left (some pink underwear). He would ask Random about it later.
There was something else needing doing, so he went down to the Dockward to see about the ressurection of Sweetpea.
Her father was a drunk, but her mother worked as a clerk in an insurance office down by the harbour. Her name was Zetty Eggler, a hard put-upon woman. Fenrir talked to her and they agreed to meet later that evening at Sweetpea's grave. Zetty would take along her son Yolob.
It was raining when they got to the graveyard and the grave diggers, once they had exhumed the body, took it to a small chapel in the corner. Fenrir had laid on some food, but only the diggers ate much.
Veddic performed the ressurection. It took 10 minutes and cost 10,000 gold in diamond dust, but Fenrir hoped this would put his trouble with the Dock Ward to rest once and for all.
'I'm alive!' gasped Sweetpea as she rose from her coffin. She avoided Fenrir and went to her mother. Fenrir could not resist a lecture though and told her in no uncertain terms to make sure and never bother him again.
He then went home, then on to Spectre Island to speak to Random. Cavu was also there but on his way out.
'What's going on with the Knips?' was one of the questions he asked.
'That's us providing cover for your actions,' confided Cavu. 'Hopefully any dead Night Masks that turn up will be blamed on the Knips and not on you!'
Cavu was on his way out though, with a group of adventurers known as 'The Bold Company'. Famous in Westgate and up and down the Dragon Coast they must have cost a lot to hire.
As any reader of local chapbooks knows they consist of:
'Brunch' McPickles - a human male fighter
Sack 'the Porridger' Voldiez - a human male wizard
Sunfire Palebird - a half-elf female sorceress
Dorrick Steelblade - a dwarven female rogue
Hengis Stockpot - a halfling male ranger
'Bit of a suicide mission out to annoy the Eastern Vampires along the coast,' said Cavu. 'Ours is not to reason why though, as they say. Any bother and Random will help you out. He has my complete confidence.'
Fenrir arrived home at midnight.
DAY 488 (3rd Flamerule)(july)
Today Fenrir, in the line of duty, had to go sort out a bit of trouble in the Eastern Quarter. A magical duel had killed several bystanders.
A large crowd had gathered outside the house of Devon Von Strone, a well known and powerful wizard. Fenrir went in the house, pushing aside the crowd and the gargoyle that guarded the door.
Devon was in his study, drinking brandy, wearing a beanie with a tassle.
'I was fighting an evil-doer!' insisted Devon. 'You should thank me!'
'The people outside are pretty angry,' observed Fenrir.
'I've commited no crime!' replied Devon pompously. 'I've safe enough here from the rabble.'
'Who were you fighting?'
'One of those horrid old Gulway Witches,' was the response. 'Dark hearted bitch.'
Fenrir sighed and issued a verbal warning which was very much not graciously recieved then went outside to cool down the crowd. Even his smooth tongue was not enough and he had to promise a sum of 30 gold per victim as compensation.
Someone threw a rotten tomato at him, and Fenrir flew up into the air and chased the hooligan off, born aloft by demon-smoke wings.
Later at work, Portia told Fenrir of his next target - a pirate captain known as Hrarnok Sharkchum. He and his crew were weresharks and based on Hammerhead Island that lay 120 miles east of Westgate.
Fenrir had Sharkchum scryed. He was on the island, walking through a small town towards a tavern. He seemed to be treated like a king by the locals.
After work he searched around town for a map of the island which he eventually managed to find and buy. He also bought a magical folding boat and Raz bought a Bag of Holding which they then stuffed full of barrels of lamp oil.
DAY 489 (4th Flamerule)(july)
And off they went! Veddic and Raz on the magic carpet while Fenrir plodded along on his impressive, but pedestrian demonic wings.
Fenrir had his magic map so they were not in any danger of getting lost, but it was slow going.
As the sun set, they unfolded the magical boat and spent the night on it. Unluckily for them though, a thunderstorm brewed up, and while the boat was perfectly safe, Veddic and Raz spent the whole night being sick.
DAY 490 (5th Flamerule)(july)
Fenrir, Veddic and Raz spent another day flying east, and again camped out on the folding boat at the end of the day.
DAY 491 (6th Flamerule)(july)
In the morning, Veddic, who I swear must be drinking all the communion wine (as this was not the first time) remembered that he had a useful spell - Wind Walk.
Using this spell they could all waft along at 60 miles an hour and could have easily have got them to the island in a mere two hours from Westgate.
Fenrir gave the cleric a long look, but was glad that the final leg of the jeorney got them to the island first thing in the morning.
The map he had been given appeared to be accurate and after a while he found the secret pirate cave where he hoped Sharkchum would be.
He found and flew through some illusuionary rocks into a large cave. He was invisible, but as he flew towards where a ship was anchored a little dog started barking.
Sunday, 17 January 2021
Drummond the Intergalactic Man Servant and the Attack of the Giant Killer Robots
This book has now had the edit that it should have had!
Will put it on sale as soon as it is possible:
https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B015LEW8U4
Tuesday, 29 December 2020
Miss Take on Kindle
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