[In a rare moment, everyone is currently on Yag Island. Fenrir and Reinward are back from their Ooze Adventure and I have just returned from the FAMP.]
DAY 686(18th Hammer)(January)
It's good to be home again. I enjoy spending time with Lavinia, my wife and my daughter, Evi. I like babies, I always have, and Evi is very cute and cuddly.
I hope I have chosen a good place to start a family. Will we settle down here on this tropical island? I'm not sure. I've always thought I would end up back at the Kryptgarden Estate at some point in my life - when my adventures were over. Are my adventures over? I don't think so - and they are not over for
Lavinia either I don't think. We employ a lizardfolk as a maid at the moment. She is good at what she does, but I think if we are ever leaving Evi by herself we'll need to get a more human looking one!
Today I noticed Brodok standing at the top of the cliffs, watching the sea. I don't mind him, but he scares the locals, including most of our colonists. He and the Minotaur have been eyeing each other up as well, I sense there will be trouble between those two. He has ten thousand gold as well, from his share of the Caverns loot. I guess we'll wait and see what he does.
I had a conversation with Reinward about the three vampires, inside coffins, inside one of his bags of holding. They are the ones captured from Bone Island, namely:
Lord Sharrow - 400 years old. Head of the Sharrow Dynasty.
Lady Brinker - his wife.
Reverend Yarhammer - their former priest.
He has lots of wild idea of what to do with them. To torment them. To get information about treasure from them. All it ever seems to be is talk though. If it was me I would want to get rid of them, even if it was to free up some space in my bags!
Well, if he had planned something with the vampires, it was forgotten about later in the day, as he and Fenrir got talking to Jonathan (my talking seagull scout and fishing expert) and he had a request of them.
He told them:
''
There is another island, its tiny and no one lives there but I heard there is treasure on it. I'll take you there for a barrel of fish guts and if you help my friend recover her comb.
''
He then took them down to the Barrow jetty, flew about until a mermaid came to the surface and then swam over to the men on the shore.
Her name was Neralyra and she said:
''
A sailor on the island has stolen my comb! I will be forever in your debt if you can retrieve it. His name is Jenkis Marpow.
''
The lads didn't see the harm in it, so they went off to Tamunzah to look for Marpow They tried Gyles's Inn first, but they found their man in Dak's pub - The Krusty Helmet. Marpow was a young, handsome and roguish pirate. He was drinking with some of his friends.
Fenrir was first to approach. 'Hello there, are you Jenkis?'
'Who the fuck... oh sorry ... what can I do to help my lord?'
Marpow took a moment to realise he was talking to probably the heaviest hitter on the island!
'Do you have a mermaid's comb?'
'I have no comb!' declared Marpow.
Fenrir sensed the lad was lying, so pulled up a chair and sat down.
Reinward started juggling daggers, carefully selected from his cutlery drawer.
'Ah now,' said Marpow, holding up his hands. 'I have great respect for you, but I'm part of Captain Harpooners crew and we sail with The Rundeen. And we don't take threats
lightly.'
Of course, neither of them had any idea who the Rundeen where, so they came over to talk to me (I happened to be having a couple of beers with Irritator and Jiggles at the time). I knew a little about them, but it Jiggles was my spy and had been collecting all this sort of information. She whispered to us:
''
The Rundeen were originally headquartered in Calimport, but are all over the place now. They are a powerful smuggling and slaving consortium, they are not strictly a pirate crew, but they are often hired by or work with pirate ships. They deal heavily in illegal goods and slaves, especially here in the Shining Sea. They are very influential in Chult and Calimshan.
''
Fenrir rubbed his chin, then thought to himself - we need to find this Captain Harpooner fella, and get him to order Jenkis to hand over the comb. Faultless logic, eh, dear reader??
Asking about they discovered he would be in one of the four houses of disrepute in Tamunzah - where are:
1. The Home of Akal Disanz - a dwarf tart
2. The Home of Big Blirinda - a half orc tart
3. The House of Madame De Ploof - a large brothel
4. The Home of Mistress Vanderish, the Emporium of Mild Titillation
So, these brave fellows went from brothel to brothel until they found Harpooner at Madame De Ploof's. A bribe of five gold was paid and they were told that the Captain was in 'Room 3'.
Reinward magically 'blinked' his head through the door and saw a naked girl sat on the bed smoking a pipe and a big hairy man sleeping face down. The girl saw Reinward and screamed. Two big bruisers rushed into the scene and made to chuck Reinward and Fenrir out.
'We need to speak to the Captain!' protested Fenrir. The bouncers were having none of it, and they were chucked out.
The tomfoolery continued. Reinward went to talk to Sparkledingle about magic combs and Fenrir waited then went back in. Madame De Ploof accepted another small bribe and said, 'You've been very naughty. He's sleeping off a skin full so you'll not rouse him. We don't serve food here though, so he'll leave when he's hungry.'
Fenrir waited out side until Reinward appeared - he also had a new 'plan'.
It involved disguises, which I am always a big fan of. Fenrir disguised himself as a half orc bard called Maximillian (Max) Banjo. Reinward disguised himself as an anonymous mime who also did slight of hand tricks.
They entered The Crunky Wassit again and Dak did not recognise them. He told them;
'If you can bring in business you can have your drinks for free!'
'Any other bard's around?' asked Fenrir casually.
'There is a lovely lass up at the Barrow, but she's married to a twat!'
Fenrir resolved to ask less questions about himself and his wife from now on when in disguise. Still, he was very good with his guitar and he made nine copper and got his booze for free. Reinward was equally successful.
They finally remembered they were there to spy on Jenkis. He was still there with his friends. The lads performed and generally mucked about from around four o'clock until seven, when the pirates got up to go get some food.
The lads followed along, this time Fenrir was disguised as a half-elf lass and Reinward was a man in a dark cloak.
There is only one street in Tamunzah where food is served, it is always busy at night and full of drunk pirates and sailors. Jenkis and his six pirate buddies sat at an open air home restaurant and ordered food.
Fenrir walked up to the table (as the half-elf lass!) and winked at Jenkis.
It got his interest but he didn't follow.
'Hoy! Are you a bender?' shouted Fenrir.
'Show us your tits!' the pirates shouted back.
Fenrir somehow magically did so, which got cheers all round.
'How much?' asked Jenkis.
'Depends what you are after,' answered Fenrir coyly.
'Come back later when we have eaten.'
Reinward, lurking in the shadows, watched on in horror. Fenrir turned his warlock charm onto maximum and easily persuaded Jenkis to come with him to an alley around the corner. Reinward, coming to his senses, whacked the amorous pirate over the head and laid him flat.
None of this was part of the plan though, and our heroes now argued about what to do next. In the end they robbed Jenkis of all his jewelry, including the mermaid's comb then legged it. After all that business with Harpooner and disguises and all the rest of it - it came down to a straightforward mugging.
Still, they felt that they wanted to go see Harpooner and talk to him about the situation. They went around town, asking about, but either people were keeping tight-lipped about it, or the fact that they had only seen his hairy arse and not his actual face, so it took a while to find him.
At ten o'clock he was located sat on a bench looking over the starlit sea. What happened next I really cannot fathom at all. Fenrir sat down beside Harpooner and talked about Jenkis and the comb.
'We have reason to believe Jenkis stole it,' said Fenrir stuffily.
'Oh dear dear!' declared Harpooner. 'Whatever next?'
'If he did not, you can find me at the Barrow. I am willing to give him a hundred gold for it.'
Given that Jenkis had been mugged and robbed of the comb a few hours earlier, what do you suppose Harpooner's thoughts were at this point? I should say, I know of this fellow. Harpooner is a blood thirsty, cunning, devious and treacherous bastard. His reputation for the most foulest of actions is well known. For instance, he has a habit of cutting off the fingers and toes of his men when they displease him and he will happily drown slaves if he considers them valueless.
So when Reinward said in parting, 'Don't do anything stupid.'
'Har har, my fine young fellow. I can assure ye, old Harpooer never does anything before giving it a long hard think! Good evening to you gentlemen!'
After that, our brave adventurers when to wake up Jonathan. They were directed to the cliffs where they found him asleep.
'Wait until morning,' he squawked. 'I can't find mermaids at sea in the dark!'
DAY 687(19th Hammer)(January)
Reinward and Fenrir had Jonathan bring the mermaid to the shoreline and they handed over the comb.
She was delighted to get it back and invited them to her village, which was situated about five miles east of Yag Island. It was a collecting of reefs and sunken ships known as Meeflee.
Neither of them were sailor's so they decided to let the mermaid go home, scrye her, then teleport to her location. This worked and they found themselves in the rigging of a sunken ship. They then opened up Fenrir's magical folding boat and climbed down into it.
Meeflee is at the western edge of a large (about 30 miles wide) area of shallow sea to the east of Yag Island. In many areas a tall man can stand with his head above the water, and in some places you can simply roll up your trouser legs and walk. The village itself was home to about thirty or so merfolk. They kept to themselves, essential it was an enclave of hippy druids. Their were also friendly dolphins here and if you find yourself talking to a fish or a crab, then it was likely Awakened by a druid.
They were offered food and drink and ate at an area in the wrecks that had been set up for dining above the water. So the lads stripped off and ate their lunch at a table above the water while sat on stools that were below it. It was a great way to keep cool and the ambience was so pleasant that after he had eaten Fenrir got out his guitar and plucked a tropical tune.
They asked about the Dweller, and were told that he was actually a sperm whale that took the form of a human while on land. He was considered a great hero in this part of the Shining Sea and greatly admired by the good peoples of all who dwelt in this shallow area.
Reinward found himself forgetting many of his worries while the sun shone down on his back and the sea lapped at his waste. He reached over and helped himself to another pina coldada.
